Tag Archives: PETA

June 10, 2012 · 9:27 am

Killing Animals Promotes Strong Families and other thoughts from the Op Ed desk

Slow Sunday morning at Old and in the Way

The Editorial Desk was unoccupied this morning when I got up so I thought I’d drop in and see what their blotter for the week.

Headlines from the papers

Being to lazy to actually come with my own content, I’m reserved this morning, to commenting on the work of others. All the while nursing my homemade latte, which BTW I’m getting really really good at making thanks to what has to be approaching 10,000 hours of practice making them for my bride every weekend morning. I’tell’ya’what, I’d make someone one helluva domestic partner just for my lattes, BBQ chicken and salted potatoes alone.

BTW- Before we get to far along in our day, ole Sank is rock’n the house today, this old fat ass has caught him a trend wave so early you can’t even see the beach yet. Check this out.

Yeah. Brooklyn BABY.When it comes to the NBA, I do rock. Thank you.

“Middle class trading ‘I do’ for ‘maybe later’”.

The latest installment in a series in the Star Tribune about the ongoing changes in America’s middle class. According to the article there’s a statistically significant population of women, and a few men thrown in for good measure, who are deciding to have kids and start families, only without necessarily waiting for marriage to do it. My initial assumption was that this may be a rise in unmarried couples with kids, something that while uncommon, wasn’t unheard off even in my youth, the post Height-Ashbury generation of former hippies who moved in with the “old lady” and introduced me to the term “common-law wife”. Common law wife was a cool term. Helped me learn about “common law” which up to then I had no exposure too.

Precedent… has something to do with precedent I think.

Anyway, my assumptions were wrong. In this case these women are just having the kids, sans partner. The article cites a disclaimer “we aren’t anti-marriage or anti-men”, it’s just that, and this was mentioned in every example through out the article, these ladies just haven’t found men they want to spend their lives with or whom the feel comfortable having a commitment with.

Fascinating.

So, if I follow your logic and I’m a big fan of logic, you can’t quite come to commitment status on a life partner but you are ok just dropping a few kids. Call me old fashioned but I’m pretty sure someone, somewhere is missing a point on something. Then again, if this trend continues I will be highly amused to lived in a society where the only married people are same sex couples, who seem to be the only folks clamoring at the nuptial door these days.

And sorority girls.. I think they’re still all over marriage.

Which reminds me, here’s how to have fun and get asked to leave a grad party you didn’t want go to anyway. When overhearing a college girl telling her parents friends about her sorority and that they don’t have a house, chime in “well where do you film those pillow fight videos than?”

Read that again?

Another interesting headline from the Star Tribune this morning, on back of the sports page, the weekly Outdoor column which I read religiously because at one time I enjoyed the outdoors, now I enjoy nothing. “Kids and Guns, a winning combination.”

The article talked about trap shooting in high schools. Not on the grounds folks, but trap shooting teams. Apparently, at our local skeet club, the Minneapolis Gun Club in Lakeville, there were recently 350 kids out for a meet, which is big numbers. Next spring 900 kids will be on the line competing in the Minnesota State High School Clay Target League.

Actually, I love the idea of more kids getting out shooting and enjoying the outdoors. Hunting may die in a generation or two if we don’t get youngsters interested in the sport and out in the fields and up the blinds. Too much urban middle class Yuppie influence in you ask me. That and misguided morons like Alicia  Silverstone and Mickey Rourke supporting PETA.

Fishing, and hunting for that matter, builds strong families. Simply does. Generations enjoy hanging out together, people get a better understanding of where food comes from and, we wouldn’t have any of the conservation movements today that protect habitat if it weren’t for strong organized hunting groups. Hunters get the joke that you have to protect the environment to enjoy the outdoors.

Back to the headline, which did effectively get me to read the article, I would suggest another, maybe a blog posting. “Killing wild things makes stronger families.” Hmm I’ll have to think about that.

Useless Information

Seems that the entire country is affected with ADD these days. There’s just no other way to explain why my news on the internetwebsthingie is being constantly served up in lists. Lots of lists. This morning I was hit with “10 Great Jobs for People over 50”. Well, I almost broke a nail trying get to that one. I’m almost as close as to 50 as a person can be and still have a “4” in the tens column.

What sorts of jobs should I be looking at as I enter the Five Oh…

Okay I don’t know who the person was that wrote this list, but clearly, and I use this term for the third time today and it’s not even 9:00am- they are morons. ‘tards as my good friend Dr. Andersen used to say when he was directing a program for mentally disabled adults in California. When he first took his job, he told me that as he was moving into his big director office at the place, he opened his desk and found a folded Post It note on which was written what turned out to be a very prophetic message from an unknown source, probably the previous director. In very elegant script it said to words

“Fear Retards”

He keeps in this wallet to this day and will tell you that it’s a shame that the word “retard” which so perfectly describes a large percentage of the people you and I meet every day has been usurped by folks wanting to demean the mentally disabled.

I admittedly use the word more than I should because like the F-Bombski, for certain situations it’s just perfect. For example to describe the person who listed as the best jobs for people over 50 as:

-       CEO

-       Physician

-       Psychologist

-       Physicist

-       School principal

-       Senior Administrator

Don’t you just wanna ask WTF are you thinking sometimes? I surprised POTUS, Senator and Heiress didn’t make the list.

Pretty sure some 20 something retard pulled the stats from a Labor Department report with jobs and average age indexed and from that decided to make what has to be the most useless news story of the 2012 summer season.

On the other hand, maybe CEO would be interesting for my next career change. I’ll work on those applications this afternoon.

 

 

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October 24, 2011 · 9:36 pm

My Happy Place

I was thinking today about things that make me happy.
I’m not all that far away from being a full on curmudgeon. Here’s some of my happy thoughts to start my week:

1) My best buddy Giggs. This morning he dumped over the kitchen trash and dragged coffee grounds, banana peels and and a wrapper from a package of chicken thighs through the living room while I was in the shower. This made me feel anger in my heart. I told him he was a very very bad dog.
Last week he did the same thing with a load of bathroom garbage. Mrs S would have killed him on the spot if she walked in her bedroom and saw what I saw. Dumb dog.
While I was at work today he duced in his kennel filling the house with a the smell of a Corgis Colon. That really made me chuckle that little joker, the old poop in the house thing haaha. He’s pretty silly when he wants to be.

2) My kids college, Michigan Tech, called me this evening while I was eating dinner. I like running to the phone when I’m eating my organic greens and free range chicken. There was a really nice young lady on the phone who expressed all sorts of care about our family and our son at Michigan Tech. She chatted up about the weather and the fall semester, what our other kids were up too, Really nice gal.
Well, after chatting our little closer had another reason for her call, apparently the money our son we send him to pay tuition isn’t enough, she wants more. I’m sorry to say that I didn’t think she really cared about us at all in her heart of hearts. She wanted me to sign up to send Tech more money.
She did sound really nice so I asked her if she knew my son Nate. She didn’t. “You know dear” I said to her, “He’s actually kinda lonely up there, what if I gave you his address and you could pay him a little visit and maybe be his girlfriend. You sound kinda nice”. You know what, that little vixen has never even been to Tech, or Michigan for that matter. She sure fooled me the little trickster. I asked her if she’d ever done other ticks and she hung up on me.
What about that!

3) Speaking of tricks, while I was trying to Skype with my kid, let him know the good news that I may have found him a girlfriend, except I didn’t know where she lived, why, wouldn’t you know it but a very lonely lady from Nigeria started sending me IM’s. She said she had seen my profile and wanted to reach out to me and start a conversation. Isn’t that nice? I told Nate I’d call him back and chatted with Helen for a while. She’s from a poor family and she’s looking friendship and would like to get to know a loving man like me. *sniff sniff*

She asked if I was single. Mrs S is in California so uh.. yeah. kinda. She wanted to send me some pictures of herself and hoped that I could fly her to America so we could meet. I am so lucky. Seriously, here’s a woman who WANTS to meet me. Every other woman I know feels something different than want.

I told her that I had a ton of respect for the good people of Nigeria and their burgeoning internet fraud business. She was honored that I thought so. I asked her what a white Jewish woman was doing living in Nigeria, and she became confused. I only date Jewish women, my wife wouldn’t want me taking a second wife who wasn’t of our faith. I also asked if she had any sisters because they could be our wives as well. In the Bible King Solomon had thousands, I would like three of four.
Well, she must have had a phone call or something because I didn’t hear back from her again. I hope she IM’s back. Mrs S is going to SO Surprised.

4) PETA. They were protesting outside the Shrine Circus this weekend. My kid was working at the circus and engaged the PETA folks. They’re a funny bunch the PETA guys, they love animals. I love them too, but as pets and food. They love them for something else I think. Therapists and spouses. My kid was yelled at by a brilliant young lady who told him he was “making minimum wage while animals were suffering” he responded well “Minimum wage? I’m a volunteer” to which she called him a idiot and animal hater.

My son does hate some animals, mostly my best buddy Giggs. I made him clean up the little indiscretion Giggs left in the kennel this morning, Giggs likes to bite him when he’s reaching in his kennel picking up the dookie. Cuter’n hell.

Well sometimes I like to help my kids and I’m glad to report that I was especially helpful for Eric. “Next time they ask you what your doing tell them ‘I have to do this because this is the slow season at my Dad’s mink farm, we let the critters grow out their hair in the fall before we break their little necks and skin’m up”.
He did. I’m proud of him.
I hate PETA. Self serving dumbshits.

5) This morning I found a tweet on my phone from a shoe company, forwarded to me by Kare11 News. Apparently they’re trying out a new source of revenue, it’s call spam. They spam their followers on twitter with ads. I tweeted my disgust and some lady named CarrieAnnWD sent me a note that she likes spam and I should lighten up. She has a picture of cat for her Twitter profile. One of her tweets said she once stole cadaver cats from a science lab and gave them a proper funeral service. She’d like PETA, they get confused about the difference between cats and people too.
She wouldn’t like my wife’s grandfather, he never got confused about animals and people. He once told me, when we were at his farm; “Son, some critters ’round here have names, and some of don’t. If you’re a critter on my farm, you want a name.”

He never gave a cat a name, and there were more than a few cats on his farm. He used to shoot the cats with a .410 because they’d eat his game birds. “Gotta get them damned kitty’s he’d say” One time I went “kitty walk” with him. Feral cats sure run fast, I couldn’t hit one with a .410.
With a 12 gauge I had no problem, but there wasn’t much meat left.
Kidding, kidding, lighten up.
I would never eat a cat. They make better compost.
I think this cat thing runs in the family.
My father in law used to have a license plate thing that said “Cats flattened, no charge”. I asked him one time if that would be a problem, “if ever you ran over a kitty, and stopped and the owners and came out and saw that they might think you really meant it.” His reply “stopped? why would I stop.”
He always had the right answer, my Father in Law.

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