Tag Archives: Jewish

April 7, 2012 · 8:59 pm

One Fail, Jew Fail, Read Fail You Fail

IMG_0657Tonight I saw in on my 96 consecutive Seder, maybe give or take a few. We’ve been doing two a year for the last 48 odd years. I love Pesach, I love Seders, after Thanksgiving Passover is my favorite holiday. Coincidence that it’s really the Jewish version of Thanksgiving; family, meals, prescriptive food. Of course Pesach is a little more formal than Thanksgiving, we actually have a script to go through. We have the pre-meal program, lots of stuff to go through, including the story of the Exodus.

The most popular line in the Seder is of course “Dinner is served”. After dinner there’s a few other things to do, including some games and fun traditional stuff to do. Among them of course is the all time favorite from the Pesach greatest hits collection- “Echad Mi Yodea or Who Knows One”. You go around the table and repeat “Who’s knows one, I know one”.

13 who knows 13
13 I know 13
13 are the attributes of God
12 are the Tribes of Israel
11 are the stars in Joseph’s dream
10 are the commandments
9 are the months before birth,
8 are the days to the brit milah
7 are the days in a week till Shabbat
6 are the orders of the mishnah
5 are the books of the torah,
4 are our matriarchs,
3 are our forefathers
2 are the tablets of the commandments
1 is Our God who is in the heavens and on earth.

Well, overheard at our house this year-

“Hey who knows who wrote the 13 attributes of G-d?”
Blank stares.
“My favorite Jewish philosopher?” They got it then. Maimonides.

“Hey, who can name the 4 matriarchs?” “Ooo I can Dad, Sarah, Rachel, Leah and uh.. Miriam?”  Sigh.. that was a miss but she was close. Excusable kinda.

“Hey who can name the 12 tribes?” Blank. “Who can tell me how they were named after?” Red had that one, “Joseph’s brothers?” Yes.. Names? And to be honest I couldn’t name them without some help.

But I can assure that Jacob did not name a kid Aztec or Zulu, two of the names that came up this evening.

I’m considering asking the religious school for a refund. Mrs S pointed out that the point of Seder is to pass just this sort of information along to our kids. And with that in mind, the failure might be on me.

I guess that means we need to go back to the Seders of my youth, hours long, boring as hell, if they aren’t going to drink knowledge you switch to instilling it.

Or maybe we’ll just keep slacking off and pour another glass of wine. I’ve lost this generation, I get the Grandkids one day. In the meantime, anyone for another matzo ball?

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December 11, 2011 · 12:21 pm

A Hanukkah Paradigm

Happy Holidays everyone.

Holidays, not Christmas. I’m trained to say Holidays, although typically I don’t say anything, ‘cause I’m just not prone to dish out gratuitous salutations being curmudgeonly and all, Holiday season or not.

I was looking at the calendar this weekend, looking at our rigorous travel schedule, and I realized that, based on our flight dates and times I don’t think we can fit in Hanukkah this year with out some gymnastics I’m not interested in attempting. My tolerance for change is low . I sort of nonchalantly and without looking up from my calendar announced to the family “I think we’re skipping Hanukkah this year”. Hanukkah is so late this year, and we’re flying out the morning of the first day and coming back the last day. It would be really inconvenient to try to insert a celebration other than perhaps a candle or two, into that mix.

That went over well, the family, specifically the daughter, filed an immediate appeal with the Warden. My counter, it’s just Hanukkah, not a big deal. But before you go attacking for being some sort of Scroogenberg gimme a second to explain.

I find Hanukkah to be the little holiday that could, by all rights it should be a quiet little observance, but it’s not. In the list of important Jewish Holidays, the festival of lights falls somewhere between Purim and July 4th which isn’t really a Jewish holiday at all but I would advocate it’s observance because it has enabled the freest, happiest and most successful Jewish community in our history.

Hanukkah’s proximity to Christmas however, gives it a serious shot in the arm.

My mother grew up in Egypt, a country that doesn’t have much of a Christmas tradition. My Mom remembers the Hanukahs’ of her youth as being, well she remembers lighting candles on the Channukia, she remembered the old school kind where you put a little olive oil in a small cup added a wick and lit that and she remembers little else. But what about the gift a night? Blank stare. Latkes, did you make latkes? Nope, potato pancakes more of a European thing. Fact is they didn’t do much in Egypt.

Note- technically the 9 branched candle holder Jews light at Hanukkah is not a menorah, it’s a channukia. A menorah describes the 7 branched candle holder found in the Temple and in synagogues today.

My Dad’s parents immigrated to the United States in the 1910’s from Damascus. In Syria, from what they told me when I was young, they’d never heard of Christmas. When the family moved to Texas they were “adopted” by a neighbor who helped them assimilate into American society. One of the things they adopted for a while was a Christmas tree. The woman who befriended my Grandparents helped them observe American holidays and Christmas was one of those holidays. It was a while before they realized what Christmas was about and discontinued the practice.

I often find myself quite conflicted about Hanukkah. Growing up it was certainly a great holiday for me, I got lots of presents, we always lit candles, we bought into the gift a night thing. We had ourselves a jolly old Hanukkah

I can’t help think we Jews have really lost our perspective on this whole Hanukkah thing. For a lot of us this holiday carries the same weight as Rosh Hashanah, Pesach, Shavuot and even Yom Kippur. We have holiday dinners, we put up decorations for the it, something I don’t’ see for any other Jewish holiday, and have created a Hanukkah holiday observance that is uniquely American.

And this, in my opinion, is a sad thing, we have allowed Christmas to dictate our holiday observance. I’m sure a lot Jews feel like they’re missing something because we don’t have a big flashy colorful holiday with carols and wrapping paper and music and TV specials this time of year.

And I’m the first to admit, it’s difficult not to fall into the Christmas paradigm. Many of my Christian friends like to find Hanukkah cards for me, while they wouldn’t know to send me a New Years card at Rosh Hashanah or wish me an easy fast on Yom Kippur the go out their way to say Happy Hanukkah. They mean well. I get it.

The local schools used to ask us to come read a Hanukkah story in the class when the kids were small, (which would require a trip to library to find such a book) the idea was that kids would learn about different “holiday traditions” not realizing that really we don’t have a big holiday this time of year. But these days we don’t want the kids to miss out on something. That the line of thinking, that we Jews are missing out on something is what I really don’t like this time of year. South Park’s resident Hebrew Kyle summed it up on “Hard to be Jew on Christmas” It is at the heart of the reason Hanukkah winds up competing with Christmas this time of year in many Jewish homes.

If you want me to come talk about our “holiday traditions” let me come in the Spring when we’re about to celebrate Pesach or Passover. The observances are much more interesting and much more meaningful.

I’m not going to be some kind of hard ass who denies his kids the fun of opening some gifts on this holiday, but we have changed our observance significantly to make it more Jewish in nature. We do a small gift exchange, and we do it all on one night, to be selected based on every other thing we have going on in our lives, after all it’s not a big deal. We do light the candles every night, and say the proper blessings. I’ll make latke’s one night and we’ll go to Cecils in St. Paul for more latkes because, frankly, mine suck. We’ll do a movie night or family game night. Drediel is fun for a few minutes but if you really want to exchange some Hanukkah Gelt you have to come buy into a Sankary Family Hanukkah Poker game. They tend to go long into the night and have, on occasion, included full contact discussions.

And so here’s my thoughts on this time of year. Christmas is a magnificent holiday. It has significance and meaning way beyond a the observance of a military victory and extended burn oil lamp. I love the Christmas lights my neighbors put up, I love looking at the trees and the decorations. I’m impressed with manger scene the Church on the main drag puts up. I like Christmas music, for most of the season, I don’t even care if my kids have to sing carols at school, I can un-program them later.

Heck coreligionists wrote some of the best Christmas music out there much to local anti-Semite, Unitarian hater and all around windbag Garrison Keillor’s apparent disgust. You can read the details here.

Celebrate Christmas, do it up big, it has great traditions and lots of cool observances. I will leave it for others to determine where the observance of the birth of Christ starts and the horrible midnight Thanksgiving shopping commercial holiday craps ends. But I would ask my Jewish friends, and their Christian friends who are enabling this behavior to stop turning Hanukkah into the Jewish Christmas. We have 5000 years of our own magnificent traditions and observances and we really don’t need to feel left out of anything.

Go the neighbors Christmas party, enjoy the season with them, drink eggnog and fruit cake, but when you feel like sharing your traditions and observances with your Gentile friends, skip Hanukkah and try inviting them over for a Pesach Seder, I actually think you’re more religious Christian friends would jump at the chance.

Happy holidays everyone.

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October 10, 2011 · 8:53 pm

My Annual Stop at the Filling Station

The Power of Yom Kippur

Every year about this time, we Jews find ourselves deep in holiday sprit. We do like to pack them in all at one time. The party starts with Rosh Hashanah, Hebrew for the Head of the Year, aka the Jewish New Year. 10 days later comes Yom Kippur, the Day of Attonment. The 10 day period is referred to as the Days of Awe, a deeply spiritual time where we reflect on our actions from the previous year and focus on preforming תשובה‎ or teshuvah. Literally the concept means “to turn”, in this case teshuvah the turning from sin and a return to balance with ourselves, our relationships with other and our relationship with G-d.

I’ve always loved the concept that on Yom Kippur we seek forgiveness from the sins we have committed against G-d; making promises we never intended to keep, evoking the name of G-d for favor, you pick. But for sins against another person, people you might have wronged or said something about, for those offenses you are required to make amends with those people. That’s always made a ton of sense to me.

After a day of fasting and turning and repenting, along comes the Jewish version of Thanksgiving, Sukkot. This is a 7 day festival where Jews build a booth out the back yard, decorate it with harvest stuff; corn shocks, fruits, pictures etc. The rule of the booth, you have to be able to see the stars through the roof. The booth symbolizes our time in the desert when the ancient Israelites wandered through the Sinai. By seeing stars, we’re emphasizing the temporary nature of the dwelling.

After a week camping out in the Sukkah we come in for the next holiday, Simchat Torah, the celebration of reaching the end of the Torah scroll and continuing with the again from the beginning. The downside of scriptures in a scroll is that at the end of the scroll, you can’t just close the book and reopen it, you have to be kind and rewind.. heh. The tradition is to chant from the last chapter of Deuteronomy and, in the same breath, read the first chapter from Genesis or as we like to say Dvarim and Bereshit. This action symbolizes that Torah is always new, never actually ends and it’s study continues over and over again. I’ve read that as we turn it from year to year, so to do we turn it day to day every time we read it. If we didn’t turn it in our heads, we would have run out of material for study and sermons hundreds of years ago.

The Simchat Torah holiday is a fun one. All of the scrolls are removed from the ark, a klezmer band is brought in and we spend a night dancing with the Torah. This is the time of year when we welcome the newest students to our religious school, the tie in to starting Torah over again plays well as these kids start what we hope is a life long relationship of Torah.

Four major plus holidays in a four weeks. It’s a busy time for us no doubt. It’s a time of reflection and introspection for Jews. Against the backdrop of observances and celebration consideration of how we want to change ourselves. The easy answer here is to take the secular New Year approach and suggest that we want to make resolutions and “do better” at one thing or another. I prefer to think of this time of year as a time to take stock an think about fundamental changes in our lives, not just “fixing” this or that but really changing. Pursing teshuvah, turning towards, returning..

Sometimes the hardest part of this exercise is figuring out what to turn too. Who is the person I would want to be and what’s keeping me from being that person. Good questions to think about this time of year.

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October 9, 2011 · 9:00 pm

From The Yom Kippur Pupit- A Message in Marriage Equality

The Yom Kippur Kol Nidre service probably the most high profile service of the year for a Rabbi. It’s the Jewish version of Christmas and Easter. The Synagogue is packed with once a year congregants for whom this is their annual connection to their faith. It’s also packed with congregants like me who are somewhat regular attendees, who have a slightly stronger connection to the place. Bottom line, the Kol Nidre pulpit is the Rabbi’s big chance to address more congregants than any other time of the year. I like to think that this night is the big one in the Rabbinical sermon calendar.

This year we were privileged at Mt. Zion to h hear one of the more moving sermons I think I’ve ever heard. So moving in fact, that by then end of it, one of the cantors had teared up and the congregation had been moved to applause. Frankly, the first time I’d ever heard applause after a sermon.

So uh, what was the topic this year? Marriage equality, and specifically the call to justice that we Reform Jews have and how supporting marriage equality and the rights of GLBT people is in line with our values, and consistent with our history.

I wish I had written it. I’ll post it here when I get a chance.

A few points he made, some of which I didn’t realize-

-       1965 the National Federation of Temple Sisterhoods resolved at their Biannual meeting the following “We…deplore the tendency on the part of community authorities to harass homosexuals. We associate ourselves with those religious leaders and legal experts who urge revision in the criminal code as it relates to homosexuality, especially when it exists between consenting adults.”

-       1977 the Central Conference of American Rabbi’s passed a resolution calling for the decriminalization of homosexual acts between consenting adults.

-       1987 the Reform Movement’s national body passed a resolution officially recognizing Gay and Lesbian partnerships. It also passed a resolution stating that gay and lesbian Jews should be granted full inclusion in synagogue life. It urged congregations to ” encourage lesbian and gay Jews to share and participate in the worship, leadership, and general congregational life of all synagogues.”

-       1998 The Central Conference of American Rabbi’s passed a resolution supporting the rights of Gay persons to civil marriage.

-       In 2006, the president of the Union for Reform Judaism, Eric Yoffie, stated, “Gay Americans pose no threat to their friends, neighbors, or co-workers, and when two people make a lifelong commitment to each other, we believe it is wrong to deny them the legal guarantees that protect them and their children and benefit the broader society.”

In November of 2012 the Citizens of Minnesota will have the opportunity to vote down an amendment to the Constitution of the State of Minnesota which will legislate discrimination by denying civil rights to a certain percentage of our population simply because some of don’t like what they do, or who they are. Rabbi Spilker was adamant about just how wrong this is, and how as Jews, a people who have been the subject of legislated discrimination in the past, we are compelled to act against this measure. As I’ve written in this space before, I’m in 100% agreement with him. I believe we are compelled as Jews, to oppose this amendment and fight for rights of the oppressed among us.

Our synagogue has put in place a committee to coordinate our efforts to fight this measure. I have submitted my name as candidate to serve on this committee and do some small part to make a difference in what I believe is the civil rights issue of our time.

I’ll let you know how it goes.

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August 31, 2011 · 9:45 pm

Sometimes you have to say something

I have me a little secret. Well it’s not exactly a secret per se, but it’s not something that I exactly wear on my sleeve because frankly, it’s no bodies business. Funny to say that because at the same time it defines who I am in a rather fundamental way.

I’m happy to share, and I’m a bit more open about it now than I was in my youth, when it actually caused issues for me at school and with peers. Even today occasionally I find myself in situation where I just don’t feel comfortable being open. It’s a little embarrassing to admit that and there are those in my community who would be offended to hear this about me.

If you were to look at me, talk to me, you’d have no idea. I have none of the stereotypical characteristics which have been identified with my community, as a matter of fact there’s been a time or two in my life when I’ve been questioned by others, even ever so slightly, whether or not I’m actually a part of this group.

Guessed yet? I’m talking about being a Jew. Growing up in a religious household, my faith has never been questioned, being adopted my ethnicity sometimes has and in the Jewish world faith and ethnicity go hand in hand. I’ve had more than a few incidents of anti-Semitism directed at me over the years, nothing major thank G-d. Some underhanded comments growing up, a membership in California where the second question after “are you interested” is “oh.. uh what Church do you go to?” and my response ended the interview with “that very interesting, we’ll get back to you.”

Or hearing folks talking shit and not realizing that I happened to be the subject of their discussion. The proprietor of the gas station on our corner for example remarking to a customer that “Jews are responsible for these gas prices” and “one day we’re going to have to deal with those people”. I shudder to think what that means.

A few weeks ago I happened to overhear a conversation between a good friend of mine and his family, folks I consider as close as my own family. As they were talking about negotiating on one thing or another for a business, the comment “we can Jew them down on that” came wafting over, leaving me disappointed that this was they way the talked behind closed doors.

Despite these little setbacks and reminders I can’t complain about injustice or prejudice and it’s impact on me other than to say this, sometimes it is a subtle reminder about who I am.

I mention all this because recently I was quite honored to receive a compliment from friend of mine who also shares the experience of having a little secret about herself that she chooses, or not chooses as the case may be, to share. My friend happens to be a Lesbian. She was recently married and in her response to my congratulatory message on her wedding she included the following regarding my blogs on marriage equality;

“THANK YOU for your awesome blogs on that topic!  You are my hero and more than just an ally to the community!!!”

This is probably the nicest thing anyone has ever said about this stupid blog, and certainly a comment that I’m extremely proud off. Proud because someone noticed that I do stand up for what I think is right.

I think there are some striking similarities in our society between the experience of being Jewish and the experience of being Gay, when it comes to being out and up front about who you are. And, more importantly when it comes to not being up and out front about who you are. Which sucks BTW. I wish I could claim that I’m always upfront, but I can’t.

And, in some ways, there is no similarity what so ever. Most people are at some level, ashamed of their prejudices. No one wants to be called out for being a racist, an anti-semite, but for some reason in our society today it’s still ok be prejudiced against Gay people. As a matter of fact we’re about to legislate prejudice. It wasn’t all that long ago that the same prejudices were institutionalized in Jim Crow laws. Ironically 50 years later we’re voting on institutionalizing prejudice, turning the clock back, and creating a special class of citizens who will not enjoy the same legal protections that I do. Sorry, that’s just wrong regardless of your motivations.

So, once again, why do I care about this, simple. Based on my experiences, I feel compelled to act. I believe that I have a responsibility to call out prejudice when I see it and do what I can to not let others get away with being bigoted. So, sorry to friends who find themselves on the wrong side of these issues, singling out a segment of the population for special treatment, whether that’s denying them the protections of marriage, or simply creating an environment where people feel compelled to hide who they are, it’s all wrong and I’m calling you on it

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May 23, 2011 · 8:42 pm

Repairing the world, my, and your responsibility

I received an email this afternoon, regarding my posting concerning same sex marriage.

“Why do you even waste time writing about this, you’re not Gay, this is a Gay issue. Seriously why do you care?”

It was from a reader I don’t know very well.

Following is my response. In short, I am compelled too take on this issue.

In the long answer:

Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel taught; “the opposite of good is not evil, the opposite of good is indifference.”

The older I get, the more I realize just how true this statement is.

A little background for my readers, in case you’re not familiar with the good Rabbi. He was probably the most influential Jewish theologian of the 20th century. Heschel was born in Poland in 1907, arrested by the Gestapo in Frankfurt in 1938 where he was teaching at a Jewish seminary.  He was deported to Poland, he was evacuated to London 6 weeks before the German invasion of Poland in 1939 by Julian Morgenstern, president of the Hebrew Union College, the Reform Movements primary seminary. Morgenstern, who had enough vision to see what was coming in Europe, engaged in an effort to rescue as many prominent scholars from the Nazi’s as he could. From London Heschel eventually made his way to New York and finally to Cincinnati where began teaching at the Hebrew Union College, the main seminary of the Reform Movement in the United States.

He was lucky he was rescued. His mother and three sisters were murdered by the Nazi’s. During his life Heschel never returned to Germany, Poland or Austria. “If I should go to Poland or Germany, every stone, every tree would remind me of contempt, hatred, murder, of children killed, of mothers burned alive, of human beings asphyxiated.”

Despite these personal challenges, Heschel lived and taught the ideals of Tikkun Olam, the idea that since creation, the world has been broken, and it is the responsibility of every Jew to participate in it’s repair. Literal translation is Repairing the World. For Heschel this responsibility extended to the world at large, and was implemented through his active participation in social justice, in his case marching with Dr. King during the civil rights struggles and his opposition to the Viet Nam war. One of my favorite quotes from the Rabbi, “When I marched in Selma, my legs were praying.”

This link to social justice, according the Heschel’s work, goes to back to the commandment that we Jews are to remember when we were slaves in Egypt and we are to experience of the redemption from that condition, which is recalled not only at Passover, but ever day in the liturgy of daily prayers. This experience is supposed to remind us that we, all people, are harmed when anyone group or individual is harmed.

One of the more profound teachings for me, I quoted above, and I’ll repeat it, “the opposite of good is not evil, the opposite of good is indifference.” The atrocities of the Holocaust, and atrocities of every other mass murder or genocidal murderous rampage, I would argue has been enabled by indifference.

Rabbi Heschel taught that in our lives we would be presented with “sacred moments” and that the goal of education, spiritual living etc, is not simply to amass great knowledge and live some hollow life of piety, but with out practical application. It is the goal of education and spirituality to in fact, prepare us for these moments, and to help us to understand them so we do the right thing.

It seems in every generation we find ourselves facing these choices, choices to stand up, be heard and make a difference, to call out an injustice and to make our position known in the hopes that we might influence even one other person, and in doing so, in some small way, act to correct the injustice.

Rabbi Heschel said “all it takes is one person, and another, and another, and another to start a movement.”  I believe that when we take on the cause of the weakest among us and embrace them and lend them our own strength, we are in fact, participating in the divine plan of Tikkun Olam, the repair of a world that is broken. To ignore, to come up with excuses; not my people, not my problem, is to participate that which is opposite of good and contrary to what is right.

In my life I’ve had opportunities to embrace causes, some I’ve acted right, some I’ve let my indifference rule the day. In this case, I believe the civil right of GLBT people are being attacked in what is the civil rights issue of this time. The legislators and homophobic defense of marriage crowd who are attempting to put a stop to what they don’t like will be on the wrong side of history, even if they win this battle. The youth, and I mean 30 somthings, in poll after poll don’t see same sex marriage as much of an issue. It’s the 50 and older crowd who are most against it.

These legislators, I know, will wind up much like the legislators in Florida, Alabama, Mississippi who, in the period after the Civil War and up until the Supreme Court action of 1960’s made inter-racial marriage a crime, in Florida a felony, with prison terms. The reasons were the same as those being put forward for same sex marriage, G-d’s law.

Do you really think that if the Supreme Court had not stepped in 1968 and overturned these laws, along with imposing de-segregation, and striking down Jim Crow laws that white Southerners would have come to there senses and “given” African-American’s rights? I don’t.

This is a time and place where I want to be on the right side, the side of defending those whose rights are in jeopardy. G-d forbid that my kids would remember me as a homophobe, in the way I remember my father and my grandmothers as racists. And even worse, what if one of my children or grandchildren are Gay? Why wouldn’t I want them to feel loved and accepted in their own family. How would I face them if I were to tell them I don’t think their relationship is beneficial to society?

Since I’m quoting Rabbis, I’m closing with a quote from Rabbi Tarfon who lived and taught in Israel  in the period immediately after the destruction of the second Temple, he had the following teaching regarding this noble work of Tikkun OIam:

“You are not obliged to finish this work, but neither are you free to avoid it.”

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April 19, 2011 · 9:42 pm

Counting Plagues

So, we weren’t the only people having a Seder last night.

There are two things remarkable to me about this picture from last nights Seder at the White House. Three things actually;

1) Based on the sunlight coming through window, they started the event early. But hey, so did we, and so did most other folks. What that tells me is that when the President wants to play Jewish, he’ll play Reform Jewish, and who wouldn’t really.

2) The Hagadahs they’re using. The Hagadah is the text that is used during the Seder. There are 1000′s of them available. In my family we like one that have a certain “brevity” to their nature and which include some modern commentary and alternative things to think about. The Hagadah, we believe, was complied during the period immediately after the destruction of the second Temple, about 70 CE. Some of the oldest existing pieces of Jewish literature are Hagadahs or Hagadot to be correct in the plural, some of which go back to the 10th century. There’s a very famous illustrated Hagadah from Sarajevo that dates back to the 15th century which you check out on line. The lettering style from that text is still used today. Look here to learn about the remarkable story of the codex. Today there are literally thousands of Hagadahs out there, many works of art. So what Hagadah did the POTUS pick? Well taxpayers and tea partiers, you’ll be happy to know that the Official Hagadah of the United States this year is.. drum roll please, one of the most famous Hagadahs in the American Jewish Experience. Yup.. The President has broken out the Maxwell House Hagadah.

The publication of its Passover haggadah by the Joseph Jacobs Advertising Agency beginning in 1932[5] made Maxwell House a household name with many American Jewish families. This was a clever marketing strategy by owner Joseph Jacobs, who hired an Orthodox rabbi to certify that the coffee bean was technically more like a berry than a bean and, consequently, kosher for Passover. Maxwell House coffee was the first to target a Jewish demographic. It was also reportedly used for a Seder held at the White House in 2009 by President of the United States Barack Obama.

Who knew?

Finally 3) If you notice in the picture, everyone at the table has got a finger in their glass of wine. During the telling of the story of the Exodus, there is a special section that deals with the 10 Plagues which G-d brought against Egypt to convince Pharaoh to let the Israelites leave. Traditionally you are to dip you finger, or a spoon, into your wine glass to remove 10 drops of wine as you recite each of the 10 plagues. This purpose is to symbolically lesson your joy a bit because the Egyptians were G-ds children as well.

Interesting concept.

Pesach is traditionally 2 Seders, the first and second night. In the past the we’ve done the first night with friends and the second night at home. My folks used to do the second night at the Temple for the Congregational Seder, or as I would suggest, the Rubber Chicken Seder. I like the second night because we try to make it a bit different from the first night. This year we decided to make it more conversational. Sometimes I forget I have teenagers.

This Saturday and services the Rabbi spoke about the more modern customs we have of making Seder’s fun and engaging. She got on her soapbox for just a minute and made the comment, which she prefaced by saying “this isn’t going to be very popular”, that while she enjoys a good time at the Seder, she not really ok with making  light of the Plagues. It’s a custom in many homes to have plastic cows on the table, to throw cotton balls as you mention hail, plastic frogs, etc. Heck we used to this back when we were invited to a local Seder, the hostess would go all out with the Seder and everyone had a great time.

Now that the kids are older and we don’t really get invited anywhere anymore we have to create our own traditions and I’m thinking along the lines of Rabbi on this one. However, I am going to miss the Frog Song.

One morning when Pharoah awoke in his bed
There were frogs in his bed, and frogs on his head
Frogs on his nose and frogs on his toes
Frogs here, frogs there
Frogs were jumping everywhere.

Of course none of my kids will sing it anymore, Laura gave me the pre-teen sneer when I suggested that she preform. So.. we’ll be taking a decade or so off from this one until we have Grandkids..

I’m keeping the frog song. But the rest I can go.

Which opens up the question we asked at this evenings big Seder, or as we say Second Night. “What are the modern plagues that you think afflict Humanity.”

Top answer at our house-

- Famine. An excellent example.
- War. Another good one shows the kids are thinking.
- Cancer. Good which we expanded to Disease in general because I was pretty sure the kid was going to list 7 more diseases to get out of this whole discussion.
- Gadaffi- We lumped this into bad leaders who hurt their own people. I thought that was a good one.

Now were stretching the brain cells.

- Prejudice/Racism. “isms” in general a bad, we all agreed to that.
- Obesity. Hmm that came from somewhere on the table, and I don’t like who they were looking at when it was said. But the point is good.
- Putting causes ahead of what’s right. That’s mine. So many people these days put their political or religious zeal behind bad ideas or failed policy simply because. No one else wanted to talk about it.

Now we were out of ideas.

- Matzo Bindings.. Ok that’s a real plague, but specific to Jews this time of year. Eat matzo for a week and you’ll experience the same.

- Republicans.. that was mine but apparently we don’t all share the opinion on that one. See my last one.
- Gas prices.. that was the kids. Doesn’t count.

Laura suggested that Disease could go with access to health care (She’s been listening to me complain in the car when the news is on). Not exactly a plague.

What about slavery? Are there still slaves? How are you enslaved?

Turns out the institution of slavery is doing quite well worldwide. Lots of people are indentured  to various instiutions around the world. Like chocolate.. cocoa plantations are among the worst offenders. Some countries, like Saudi Arabia for example have genuine old fashioned slave markets.One of the purposes of the Seder, until everyone is free we will be called to hold a seder.

What about you Kiddo? i asked the middle kid. He didn’t get the question. “Facebook, you, my son,  are a slave to Facebook.”

And so ended what was an interesting evening of family discussion that thankfully, only happens once a year.

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November 30, 2010 · 9:01 pm

Explaining Hanukkah, in my own special way

Word of the day. Oy Shit

I would be surprised to find one Jew in America who has not, at somepoint in the last few days since Thanksgiving NOT looked at a calendar and said “Oh SHIT! Hanukkah starts  WHEN???  Or some version there off, shit being a Yiddish word for dang.

Yeah.. that would be Wednesday, as in tomorrow.

I haven’t even finished the damned Thanksgiving leftovers.

Lunar calendars suck, explains why the rest of the world switched a long time ago. Clearly we need that Adar II or as we Jews refer.. leap MONTH. When you’re timing stuff by the moon, you’ll find Hanukkah in the summer in no time unless you periodically add a month.

Lemmie clear up a thing or two about the festival of lights for my non-Jewish friends. Every year I get asked lots of questions about this holiday, and oddly never one about Yom Kippur or Rosh Hashanah. Here’s the greatest hits FAQ from your old pal Sank.

-       First, the single most common question I get about Hanukkah; Don’t you give your kids a present every night?

  • No. For a couple reasons. A few hundred years ago no one got gifts for Hanukkah, they got some coins and fried food. DONE. Oh, and they learned how to make odds on a spinning top. The whole gift thing got out of control the year after the Macy’s made the Christmas gift thing spin out of control. Keeping up with the Jones’s you know. We don’t give gifts every night because Mrs S does not like to drag out the whining and begging. We pick a night and do some gifts and potato pancakes, eat some jelly donunts from Fishman’s and call it a festival. In my youth I got to open  7 packs of socks and underwear  every night for a week until the last night when I got something I was interested in. Didn’t make feel all that special, nor reinforced the idea of MIRACLE.

-        Are you taking time off for Hanukkah?

  • Nope. I’m taking time off for Christmas.. because I can. Ha.
    In the pantheon of Jewish Religious observances Hanukkah is right up there with Purim and Jewish Arbor Day. It’s proximity to Christmas makes a lot of people blow it WAAAY out of proportion. Interesting story- when my grandparents immigrated to the United States in 1900 they were sort of “adopted” by a gentile neighbor in their Fort Worth home. They learned that Americans put up Christmas trees and did so for years and years. You see, they emigrated from Syria and as such had no real exposure to Christian holidays. They really thought it was an American deal, and when the kids got older and knew what was going on.. never said a word and why would they? Who doesn’t like presents. Of course I would drop dead before I’d do a Christmas tree now.. which answers the next question-

-        Do you put up a Hanukkah Bush?

  • NO.  That would be called a Christmas tree. And the answer is NO. I’d have to move.

-        Do you do anything special?

  • Why yes. Hanukkah celebrates a miracle after all, and to commemorate the miracle we do light our hanukkiah every night. BTW.. it’s not a menorah it’s a hanukkiah, next time you’re having a beer with a Jewish friend, you can use that bit of trivia to win a round. Almost always works. It’s traditional to eat some fried foods, soofganyot being the traditional pastry. You can get them at a kosher market for about $104.40 a dozen. The annual Hanukkah challenge, put 3 $3.00 soofganyot and 3 regular $.50 jelly donuts from Cub in a bag and see who can tell the difference. The answer? The guy who had to shelp through damn snow to FIshman’s Kosher Market in St. Louis Park after work during a snow storm to get them? No. Not even him. Believe me I know. Good thing I saved the box last from last year, they’ll never know. However corned beef and knishes.. worth the trip right there.
  • We also do some game night and hang out.. Fun isn’t really in our repertoire, BUT the Timberwolves, the local NBA franchise is hosting Jewish Heritage night next week. I’m at a loss to understand how you show that you are Jewish to get a discounted ticket. I had an idea, but Mrs S assured me that would not be the case, we have gone to such great lengths in the more liberal Jewish community to get to gender equality and all.

-        What did you get your wife?

  • Why does this come up all the time? BTW this is a gender linked trait. Women around the office, in social circles are fascinated for some reason to learn what men other than their husbands get their wives as gifts. Benchmarking me thinks. Well, this is exactly the sort of keeping up with the Jones’s or Schwartz’s as the case may be that has turned this little festival, a festival not all that popular with Talmudic Rabbi’s BTW due to its military connections, into the Jewish Christmas.

Fact is, I don’t know what I’m getting her because it was just this afternoon that I, yes I the most organized man I know looked at the calendar and said those fateful words,

“She-IT, Hanukkah starts  WHEN?”

 

 

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May 19, 2010 · 7:30 am

Shavuot, a real festival for the rest of us.

Shavuot, the Feast of Weeks, is here folks. Batter up the blintzes and break out the cheesecakes. If this is your first exposure to the Jewish festival you are forgiven, it’s not particularly well known given that it’s one of the three festivals on the Jewish calendar. The other two, Sukkoth and Pesach (Passover) I’m pretty sure most of you have heard of.. Saddly, even in the Jewish community.. not so well known.

I don’t know why the holiday doesn’t get the “pub” that the other two big festivals get. Even more egregious in my mind, Hanukkah and Purim get more attention; the spiritual and religious importances of those observances are very sketchy at best. As a kid, my memories of Shavuot…. pretty much limited to an entry on the Jewish Calendar the folks picked up at the High Holy Days services every year. It was  from the local Jewish funeral home. For you youngsters, there was a time when people would keep track of important appointments on a paper device that had a grid for every month. Follow? If you were Jewish, there was a good chance the calendar by your phone (which were on the walls then), came from a funeral home.

Why? I don’t know. I’m guessing that in by the late 60’s and early 70’s the last truly Jewish business left in most communities was the funeral home. The Kosher butcher shops and Mikvah’s didn’t follow the Exodus of my peeps from the city to the ‘burbs, and while we would drop the Kosher eating and ritual bathing pretty easily .. funeral customs, not so much. Since the best way to advertise specifically to Jews is to hit them when and where they concentrate, which would be twice a year, at Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, that’s what they did.

This Calendar BTW, taught me a few things growing up. First of all it reinforced what I already knew and what to this day remains de facto, the year starts and ends in September, not in January. The Jewish New Year is in September, the School Year “New Year” is in September and the Boy Scout Program year.. September. The Jewish calendars all started in September. It was, in a word, harmonious with the natural flow of life. 40 years later nothing has indicated otherwise.

The other thing I learned from my folks Jewish Calendar was that there’s a lot of “stuff” on there that uh.. we Reform Jews didn’t observe. In any given month, there are several days were marked with things I’d never heard off, worse yet which were not talked about in Religious School. What gives? Feast of Tamuz? I like a feast.. Fast of Esther, ok not so much, but a working knowledge would be good, and there on calendar, late in May.. Shavuot.

So for the first 25 or so years of my life I was completely unaware of this festival other than it was a calendar entry. Until about 10 years or so ago, while I could spell Shavuot and use it in a sentence, I wasn’t sure exactly what the significance was, except that it had something to do with harvests of fruits or some darn thing..  Frankly I was missing out.. Not only because I could swing day off work either.

So, here’s the primer on Shavuot, which started last night at sundown.

Shavuot occurs exactly 50 days after the second night of Passover. Sounds random, but the tradition says this was how long it took the Israelites to travel from Egypt to Sinai. Shavuot commemorates the giving of the Law on Sinai, or as I read on TCJewfolk this week, “The Day Earth Really Stood Still”.  It also was one of the three times a year when the people were required to bring the sacrifice to the Temple. In this case, the first fruits of the year.

Sacrifice aside, I would think the events on Sinai would be worthy of mention.. we spent the next 4000 years studying and cherishing this law, you’d think a little more of party would be in order. Just to put it in perspective, before Sinai, we’re a tribe. After Sinai.. a people. Sinai introduces the idea of collective redemption, something that has differentiated us from Christians and Muslims. It binds us together with a common belief and blueprint for building a society.

Sinai is the scene of our greatest failure as a people, the Golden Calf and off redemption, as a people. We got a Divine mulligan at Sinai and a lesson in forgiveness. Thankfully we also got a replacement copy of the law.

So why the “ignore” on this holiday. My theory? Other than it’s proximity to Memorial Day when most of us are checking out for the summer, this is the one Jewish holiday that has no commandments associated with it. No matzo, no building a booth, nada. We have a lot of traditional observances, but with no biblical reasoning behind them, the actual reasons for eating dairy products and studying all night are sort of lost as evidenced by the several explanations of each.

What this holiday needs is some jazzing up. The Reform Movement has done a really nice job reintroducing Shavuot to it’s congregants. Putting the Confirmation service that day reinforces the kids connection, confirming their commitment to Judaism on the day that commemorates our people actually becoming Jews.

I’m a little shallower and think perhaps a slick color scheme and an interpretive dance would help connect people, but that’s just me.

Last night we watched our middle kid in the service. Going in I had little expectations, I knew, deep down his motivation for this was less about connection to Judaism and more about going on the Rabbi’s trip to New York in October that he does with the previous years Confirmands. I also sort of struggle with the idea that the whole Confirmation service was something that we borrowed from Catholics instead of the usual other way around.. however to see him up there, holding a 100 year old Torah scroll from a Jewish Community in the Czech Republic which was entirely wiped out in the Holocaust, and to pledge to pick up and carry the traditions of those on whose shoulders we stand today.. well even a cynical and sarcastic old fat guy like me could do nothing but offer a confirming nod.

Well done kids.

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April 10, 2010 · 7:53 am

Yom Hashoah 2010

Yom Hashoah this weekend. Holocaust remembrance day on the Jewish calendar. Sunday April 11 at 7:00 my Synagogue,  Mt Zion in St. Paul is hosting the Twin Cities observance for Yom Hashoah. The family went to services last night as the middle kid continues to check off his appearances before confirmation schedule. Following are my reflections on the service. 

Took the family to services last night, the place was packed, several hundred in attendance. At the end of the service the Rabbi asked that all the survivors stand up. There were some there, fewer every year now, many have walkers , many had to helped up by kids and grandkids, but they were there and they stood up. They stood up and were counted because 65 years ago in August, when the dust settled and gates of the camp were thrown open, no matter where they were when the Nazi’s fell, this group of people, were still standing. 

They had triumphed simply by being alive.

All of them were just kids when then events of the Holocaust occurred. Some were standing there today because  their parents had the foresight early on to ship them to families in England, the United States, Palestine, anywhere but Austria, Poland, Czechoslovakia. Some had experienced the worst of what one person can do to another. Some were in hiding, one a partisan who left Europe only to return on the beaches of Normandy a few years later. It doesn’t really matter how they survived, the important thing is; they survived.

Next the Rabbi asked that the children and grand children and all the decedents of survivors, still living or passed to stand. Fully 1/2 of the congregation assembled stood up. 

Moving, to say the least.

This is one triumph, one victory if you will which grows with each generation, but sometimes you have to see it to comprehend it.

This year, one of the ways we’re going to be helping to visualize the Holocaust is through the Butterfly Project. 1.5 million children perished at the hands of the Nazi’s. One of them was Pavel Friedmann. His poem, the butterfly was the inspiration of this project to create 1.5 million butterflies. I’m going to leave with it as it’s one of my favorites.

Pavel Friedmann was born in Prague on January 7, 1921. He was deported to Terezin on April 26, 1942 and later to Auschwitz, where he died on September 29, 1944, 21 years old.

The Butterfly

The last, the very last,
So richly, brightly, dazzlingly yellow.
Perhaps if the sun’s tears would sing
against a white stone. . . .
Such, such a yellow
Is carried lightly ‘way up high.
It went away I’m sure because it wished to
kiss the world good-bye.
For seven weeks I’ve lived in here,
Penned up inside this ghetto.
But I have found my people here.
The dandelions call to me
And the white chestnut branches in the court.
Only I never saw another butterfly.
That butterfly was the last one.
Butterflies don’t live in here,
in the ghetto.

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