Tag Archives: Holidays

December 22, 2012 · 5:56 pm

Blizzard? Bah.

Live from the heart of the beast. 

There’s nothing like good old fashioned mountain blizzard to bring the family close. According to the weather reports between now and Sunday night we’re supposed to get up 60 inches of snow here. That’s 5 feet according to my metrics. According to Mrs S’s metrics it’s a “shitload”. I don’t know how much a load of shit is, but I’m pretty sure we’re in that neighborhood. 

We are all enjoying the fire here at the Condo. We have enough food here to feed 12 people for three days. Since 7 of the 12 probably won’t make it here on schedule,  I don’t think we’re going to have to resort to a Donner Party party. The Donner Party monument isn’t too far from here, just in case youths need reminding. Of course I’m at the stage in life when I can better serve the group as a meal choice instead of as a inspired leader. 

But the weather isn’t without it’s effects, the most troubling at this point; we’ve run out of the black Nesspresso cups. The black ones rate “10” on the “intensity” scale. There are about 20 colors of cups for the Nespresso. As a colorblind guy I can’t figure out which one is which, the chart that shows the colors and flavors, but there’s like 50 shades of grey there. 

The snow has really been coming down, but you know, we’re from Minnesota, you know what we call weather like this in Minnesota? We call it Saturday. So lets get moving people. 

Interesting to see the Californians on the roads, their winter driving skills, in a word, “suck”. Funny thing as we were heading out in a snowfall that I would estimate at 6 inches an hour, I was once one of them, nervous about driving in snow, little heart jumps every time the car slid a little bit. Now I find myself cursing at people going 5mph on a flat road, move your ass folks. Put the car in low gear and get a move on. It’s just freak’n snow. 

Personal favorite the Lexus with the yuppie looking family stopped in the middle of the road, I could see his white knuckles from a mile back. Stopped. Dead. Indecision and fear gripped him as waited for gawd knows what. After a nanosecond I blew by him on the right, I could hear him cursing at me as he his windshield got covered in a wake of snow. 

Mrs S had sent us out to select a tree for the Brother in Laws place. The BIL isn’t here yet. We were making a unilateral decision for a person who likes to be in on decisions. I think we’re making a mistake. My oldest son also felt like were making a mistake, but he made the mistake of telling my wife his thoughts on the matter and in this case, two mistakes make a bigger mistake, rather than a right that some logic schools would indicate. Actually it was my wife and her mother who he was up against, tag team from Planet Estorgen. In the world of high-density family living the worst thing you can tout around is an opinion. As the sage once said, they’re like assholes, everyone has one. 

Being a good parent I offered the lad some coaching “Dude, this time of year, when your mother asks you to do something you should just do it.” Mrs S nodding with approval, “no matter how illogical is sounds.” Smile to a frown as the subject of her gaze switched back to me. “What did you say?” I ignored her. “She has a plan in mind and it’s best if we all just do what she says and not offer opinions or dissenting views, she’s not going to be in the mood to hear them. Best just to shut up for the week even if it you wind up doing things that make no sense.” 

At that point she looked over, raised a hand, with her index finger extended like she had something to say, lips parted almost made a comment and then.. walked away. This was not lost on the son, “saw what you did there Dad”. Yes kids, look and learn, I’ve got 10,000 hours of registered husbanding on the books. By every measure that makes me an expert. 

At the tree lot we had several lumps of snow to pick from. I’m no expert in selecting Christmas trees but the boys have worked many many seasons at the Boy Scout Tree lot and were able to find the right pile of snow with a tree under it. 

Selections made we went back to the house. In the 45 minutes we were out selecting trees and hitting the grocery store for some last minute items, about 9 inches of snow fell. I like snow but there’s no getting around that fact that the white stuff makes a lot of things a serious pain in the ass, like unloading cars and trying to keep the insides of homes nice. 

But once again, a Minnesotan approach to winter guided us through and in the end we looked blizzard in the face and said “irrelevant”.

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December 18, 2012 · 6:40 pm

A Hanukkah Miracle of Sorts

Hanukkah was a pretty low key affair at our house, but I’m happy to report that candles did get lit on every night the festival. Even the last night, when we parents were not at home to supervise the affair, which was a tish alarming. Mrs S and I were at an annual holiday party with her friends, and by extension mine except I didn’t find this group she did, so technically in the event of marital dissolution she would get these folks in the settlement.

Look at me all negative.

Anyway, while we were there enjoying the soirée, well actually there’s a little story here, as their always is.

“Hey Sank, I’m having trouble following along can you stick one story line at a time?” No.

Anyway, during the party I had excused myself from a conversation and went to use the bathroom. The host, a fine upstanding man who knows me, suggested that I used the can in the basement, he knows better than I where the best venues are in that home. In the basement I found not only a bathroom, but a big screen TV with the Timberwolves game on.

About an hour later they were looking for me upstairs it seems. Someone wanted an Old Fashion and since I was the self-appointed bar guy, the “where’s Sank” question started going around, and then I was found, downstairs, by myself, watching basketball, while exchanging some troubling texts from my daughter.

Started with a picture of our menorah, well technically it was our hanukkiah, not menorah since they’re not the same thing, at least by the most literal interpretation of the words. It seems that one has 7 branches and other one has 9 and the one the Temple that was the scene of the miracle of the oil that’s responsible for this whole affair was a special one.. hell even I don’t know the details, only that in the Jewish Bar Trivia game, there’s a difference. BTW, the one with 9, that’s the hanukkiah. We don’t own a true menorah. No one does.

“Sank, seriously dude, finish a thought.” I assure you that when this post is concluded I will have finished all thoughts. Farmers don’t grow corn one stalk at a time, they plant many and they nurture them all. As do I with my precious thoughts.  Hooyah.

Not a bad analogy. I’m going to have to remember that one. 

So while sitting I received a picture from my daughter, our menorah/hanukkiah thingie at home, with the appropriate 8 candles, all lit, and the message “Just for you Dad, happy last day of Hanukkah”. My first reaction was to look out the window in the general direction of our home to see if I could see an orange glow on the horizon. Seeing none my next reaction was panic. You want to reward kindness, especially rare kindness, the kind that comes from teenagers, but I was seriously worried about the house. I texted back “Please be careful honey.” No response. “love you dear”, response; “ik w;’s be crful” followed with “vlu U2”

She’s usually a complete word texter. I started wondering if she was texting me while running out of the house. As in escape from a burning home.  While I was deep in thought attempting to create the worst scenario possible some dude from the party did the “AH-HAH” thing and grabbed my shoulders, scaring the living crap outta me.

Busted.

I went upstairs, sought out my bride, ignored her mini-inquisition as to my whereabouts and social prowess and proceeded to show her the pictures, the text and asked “should I go home?” Her answer; “no”.  Apparently by her logic, if the house was going to burn down it already would have and we should just continue to enjoy the party. “cause there ain’t nuth’n we could do about now anyway.”

An excellent point. She’s the smart one that wify of mine.

Party went on for a few more hours, I took the hint about staying upstairs, only wandering down once to check on the game as it went into overtime. At about 11:30 I was ready to go, she was not, so being a good husband I found her a ride home with another couple and made my goodbyes. I’m happy to say there were no smoldering ruins where the house was, teenage girls were fast asleep upstairs and Giggs was laying on the carpet in a pile of small gold chewed up pieces of foil, apparently he’d climbed on the table and helped himself to the chocolate coins. It was as tranquil as the night before Christmas, in the Hebraic style of the holiday.

A real Hanukkah miracle if you ask me. The light of the holiday was contained to the candles and we did not have the Israeli style Hanukkah bonfire.

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December 13, 2012 · 9:57 pm

Some crappy updates ’cause I’m feel’n like crap

Uggg.

Seems that every year about this time I find a way to get sick. For this years edition of the annual plague I’ve selected a robust late harvest winter cold. It came with an uncontrollable nasal drip, very enjoyable in meetings and on the bus when you’re trying to pretend that there’s not a snot drop on the bridge of your nose, so you discretely pinch your nose, getting a wipe at the same time.

I also enjoyed a couple days of low grade fever. Nothing like little chills and shaking to attempt to gain some sympathy from a beloved spouse. You think I’d learn by now, apparently not. It was kinda fun actually, got sit in the office and suddenly break into a sweat. As my people say, do some schvitzing. Neat trick when your sitting in a meeting.

Speaking of which, damn friendly of me to go into work as Typhoid Gary. Heh.

But a fellows gotta do what a fellows gotta do.

The gift with purchase in this deal, the dry hacking cough that I’ve been enjoying. Started to wonder if I got me the whooping cough, I did just get the vaccine last week.

OK Hypochondriac man slow down.

I know, whining. Gender linked trait. But seriously, this hack has to stop or I’m going lose me a lung.

Cha-noo-kia is in full effect here at the Casa Del Sank-a-ray. For what it’s worth, we have managed to light candles every night. One night I even got the womenfolk to stop talking long enough to hear the blessings, which was nice.

For that night anyway. Nice think abotu Cha-noo-kia, I get a nice new pair of socks every night. A pack of eight socks makes a lovely  progressive gift. And they’re damned comfy.

Actually we agreed on a family gift this year, a new home theatre sound system to replace my college receiver and speakers. So, off to Best Buy I went, cash in hand, ready to pull the trigger.

Problem. I’ve never bought anything over $11.00 that I haven’t researched for at least 6 months. I hadn’t really done my due diligence and when I got to Best Buy and, when offered two choices, went into paralysis mode. Couldn’t decide. Truth is, after listening to several systems I couldn’t find one that sounded even close to the quality of the sound I already enjoy so, why bother. Which could mean a gift free Cha-noo-kia.

My two sons, the ones who decided to bypass Minnesota this winter and head straight to California almost bypassed the holiday as well except at the last minute the following remarkable circumstance occurred.

They were invited to dinner tomorrow night, a full on Shabbat dinner and Hanukkah deal a one of my cousins homes. And I learned today that they’re both going. My cousin is Orthodox so they’re in for a very traditional dinner. It’ll be fun for them. It will also be the first time they’ve met anyone from my Fathers side of the Family. I’ll be curious to hear how it goes.

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December 4, 2012 · 6:12 pm

Happy Merry Good…. I forget what I was going to say.

Here’s yet another sign of the nearly empty nest.

Mrs S “What do are you plans for Chanukah?” And my response, sadly, “oh, when is it?”

That sort of tells you how excited I am for this particular holiday. Truth be told, since I’m having some difficulty these days getting excited about any big holidays like Thanksgiving and Yom Kippur, so what exactly would you expect when it comes to Chanukah, a holiday whose observance I’ve been critical off for a couple decades. Not that it wasn’t a fun little observance when the kids were young… well actually I don’t remember it being all that fun because 8 days is simply too long for Captain ADD  over here to think about anything, much less a nightly ritual. We’re just not home that many nights in a row.

This year neither of my boys will give the holiday a second thought since both of them have decided to go to California for a month rather than come home. True that the daughter is still home and would enjoy a gift or two and some candles. In past years Mrs S has decorated the house a bit for the holiday, she did some Halloween decorations this year, I failed to notice or get to excited. To the contrary I might have been heard to say “what’s all this shit” when she dragged the Halloween box up from the basement. Perhaps it was my second response when she replied “Halloween decorations”, I don’t remember exactly what it was, something about no kids and clutter blah blah blah. I’m not sure we’ll see any Chanukah decorations now.

As a matter of fact, as I write this I still don’t exactly what day it starts, I would have to go look at a calendar and that would mean passing the liquor cabinet on the way and you know what, I know I’ll get distracted and we’ll be right back to “I don’t know.”

Let’s be honest shall we? As I’ve mentioned here before, on the scale of importance in the Jewish calendar, Chanukah falls right after 4th of July. We have bigger and better holidays.

Fact is, our family stinks at celebrations. Our 25th wedding anniversary? Nada. Talked about doing a trip somewhere, may still except we’re closer to our 30th now. Birthdays? No one around here’s had a cake in 18 years. We do Thanksgiving, but even that’s kinda losing steam.

Time marches on.

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November 23, 2012 · 8:38 pm

Don’t like turkey, love Thanksgiving

Nothing like the holidays to reflect on the family, since we have lots of family time to during the holiday when we can reflect. And any reflection about family time in my mind will, at some point, turn to some expression of teen angst. And when I find myself chastising my children for time spent on devices instead of tuned into family and friends I am reminded that I am that old fat ass on sofa, nose deep into my computer more often than not, and from me, they learn.

Funny how that works out.

This year the Thanksgiving prep was decidedly uneventful. I had everything under control and everything went to plan. Not one single crisis other than a couple rotten garlic cloves. Must be years of experience finally paying off.

Thanksgiving Day itself was one of those “only in Minnesota sort of days”, it started at about 70 degrees in my driveway, when I went out to get the paper it was remarkably warm. And only in Minnesota does a day like that end with an inch of snow on that same driveway and wind-chill at 3 degrees.

Thanksgiving, like all the good holidays, goes so fast. One minute I’m at the grocery store buying the supplies and before I know it we’re saying goodbye to the guests and the family is settling in for the evening’s activities, which in our case was a game of Trivial Pursuit, Sank rules.

Sank rules works like this, any pause for more than a second when answering any question and you’re going to get bombarded with hints from the rest of the players. And even with this assistance, it still takes a couple hours to finish a game. I downloaded the game onto the Xbox, a cheap $12.00 as a way to entice the teen age members of the family off their devices and come out of their rooms. Yeah I know, trading one device for another, but at least if we’re on the same device it would be a tad more interactive than closed door brood-surfing. And it was big success. Proof? The teenybopper kid asked if we could play again tonight.  Welcome back to the family brood-sister.

This year the party was pretty low key, but I think we settled in a good number of participants; eight. Eight people fit around our table very nicely. Eight is a good number for a reasonable size turkey, it also allows everyone to have the very own personal side dish. I choose candied sweet potatoes, which were brought by a friend of ours, because things made by others are always better than things you make yourself, at least in my opinion.

I made my herbed turkey, this being the third year that I did herbed it turkey it’s gone through the product lifecycle; what was once “new and innovative”, then was “what we had last year” is now locked in as “tradition”.  Next year I’m considering going to back to the traditional baked bird sans my sage based turkey pesto deal. I asked for a vote on this issue and apparently due to election fatigue no one was interested in taking part in having input in Thanksgiving to Be. I got 7 abstentions and one trip to the bathroom to avoid the whole discussion. I guess we’ll make a game time call next year.

Overall the day lived to my expectations; it is and remains the finest day on the calendar. Great company and food, good times all around. And no, we didn’t spend a lot of time trying to name things we were thankful for. I kinda live day to day and don’t really stop to consider that which good fortune and good luck have bestowed on me, that would require reflection and I’m not much for reflection.

I am starting to realize that even Thanksgiving is going to suffer from empty nest soon

, the days of family events are numbered. The kids are scattering fast, if the oldest realizes his dream of attending Grad School at Stanford we’ll never see him again, he’ll spend holidays on the west coast with grandma, meet a partner of some kind and we’re done. Middle kid is already making noises that next year he won’t be able to stay the entire week as he’ll want to get back to Alabama on Saturday for the annual Auburn/Alabama game, and the girl.. well I’d bet she’ll be with us for a long time to come.

And just like that the day was over. Friday we did nothing. NOTHING. I’m not going out into the Black Friday madness; I don’t consider that to be our best moment as Americans. Matter of fact the more I see people waiting in line for 4 days and then climbing over each other to get a $50 off something the more I think the country might not be worth saving. I guess if I’m thankful for anything, I’m thankful that I have been given the gift of cynicism which keeps me from considering a trip to the Mall this time of year.

Yeah me.

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November 18, 2012 · 9:36 pm

The Run Up on Thanksgiving

The Sunday before Thanksgiving finds me in the kitchen working, channeling Mrs S’s dear Aunt Pat as I start the pre-work on Thursdays feast. I love Thanksgiving. It’s one holiday where a guy can simply celebrate food, family  and friends. No religious observations to complicate the day, just eat and enjoy.

Aunt Pat passed along a few recipes a few years ago, they’ve become favorites at our house, especially the stuffing balls. All the stuff is bought and we’re ready to go.

This years crowd for the big day is a bit light, one family made other plans, we’ll let our hair down and have a good time. Few adult bevies and good conversation. Conversation which will not be interrupted  for sales or anything else. More on that.

Spent the morning working on the Make-Ahead Gravy. To make it I have needed 6 thighs or 8 wings. Our full service butcher shop, Von Hansen’s doesn’t carry turkey parts. According to the butcher there, they have whole birds or breasts. “We don’t carry turkey parts”. Which I find odd to be odd honestly, given that they’re a full service butcher shop and all. Apparently the consensus was that I wouldn’t be able to find “parts” anywhere. Thank goodness for Byerly’s, they had both, in the meat section, didn’t even have to ask.

So, you may ask, what’s up with the parts? Mrs S suggested that I buy a jar of gravy and be done with it.

This morning as I pursed the local ads, all the grocery stores are running their Thanksgiving ads about now. Have to say, Thanksgiving ain’t what it used to be. All about easy these days. Get your turkey pre-cooked so you can heat it at home. Get your turkey pre-brined, only $1.75 a lb. Canned green beans, cream of mushroom soup, fried onions blah blah blah. Pre-made stuffing, gravy out of a jar, it’s terrible. No one makes anything from scratch anymore. Processed food, pre-packaged, no wonder we’re all a bunch of fat asses with high blood pressure and shitty skin.

*Sigh* It’s not all that difficult to pull off a fantastic meal for Thanksgiving all from scratch, I’ll give in on the broths. As a matter of fact it’s so easy that I’d like to go back and talk to my mother about all the fuss she made about cooking back in the day. Don’t be intimidated buy the size of the meal or the number of dishes. A little planning, a good grocery list and time is all you need. Seriously. Anyone want me to publish a guide for the meal? Let me know and I’ll put it out tomorrow.

Turkey. I did buy the turkey today. Over the years I’ve bought every offering in the turkey space you could imagine. I bought fresh premium never frozen birds who spent their short lives sleeping on silk pillows while being had fed corn, and I’ve bought the cheepo, frozen last March birds that are given out as gifts when you buy a box of stuffing and a can of yams. Seen it all and bought it all. And frankly, after spending about $50 on a primo bird last year and really not being able to taste the difference between it and the cheep shit frozen butterball, this year we’re going cheap. .79Cents a pound.

Bottom line, a turkey is a turkey and I’m quite certain that good turkey is more about the preparation and method and I’m quite confident on my abilities there. I’m sure it’ll be a great Thanksgiving.

And one little caveat to my family, Thanksgiving is family time. To mine: if any one you people even think about leaving the house at 8:00pm to go shopping for anything except a more ice, a pack of cigs or hygiene products I will be very disappointed and you won’t be invited back next year. I’m all about preserving the sanctity of Thanksgiving. Do what ever you want on Friday, but leave Thursday for your family.

Peace out.

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December 18, 2011 · 4:50 pm

Holiday Parties. Big Time Happy Fun

Another Saturday night, another party. This time with many any of the same folks we were with last weekend, plus a few more, minus a couple others. You get the jist. After a brief discussion about my choice of black on black, Mrs S came down stairs dressed in, you guessed it, black. Her response to my pointing out the slightest bit of inconsistency in her earlier statements that I should wear some more festive… “But I’m a chick, I can get away with it.”

More example of the gender standard, which I still don’t know the rules for.

And may never actually figure it out. 

Mrs S was on the planning committee for this event, one our friends, a really wonderful guy who lost his wife this year to f’n cancer was the host. There were a few hands involved in the planning, it was the cocktail party version of an Amish Barn raising. Makes even me; a curmudgeonly sarcastic old fat ass kinda think he’s lucky to be married to a gal who connects him with such great folks.

Now every good evening starts with a liquor store run. One of the things we were doing was making a holiday cocktail. Personally I wanted to go with my cocktail, the one I invented for last years cocktail merit badge party, the Thrifty Scots Man. Goes like this, I’ll wait a second while you grab something to write with.

Got it?

In to a glass of our choice pour several fingers of a great single malt scotch, I have a short list if you need help with this one. Amount doesn’t matter. Isn’t this recipe great? No measuring. Add a teaspoon of water. Enjoy.

You may wonder, what’s the difference between this and a scotch and water? Dumb question, scotch and water isn’t a name that can compete with the Holiday Cranberry, the Poinsettia, the Tom and Jerry, the Screaming Holiday Orgasm and the Twisted Elf.. which I think the last two have something to do with one another.

Mrs S has been scouring the “internets” looking for the right mix of holiday cheer. Most of the stuff out there has way too many ingredients to get consistently right. I think a good rule is 3 or less. Or maybe no more ingredients than words in the name, which is why I’m never making a “Walk Me Down Sweet Jesus”, for a couple reason but mainly because it has; rum, vodka, blue curaco, tequila, gin, triple sec, and Sprite. Waaaay to much stuff. We made Poinettas, 1 part vodka, 1 part champagne, 2 parts cranberry juice over crushed ice.

Vodka for us means a trip to the liquor store, we never  have vodka, don’t use the stuff. At the store Mrs S asked the clerk “We need some vodka, cheap but not embarrassingly so.” Which rules out plastic bottles and offerings from the Phillips family of fine spirits, such fine offerings as root beer, raisin, and this years hit, Robitussin schnapps.

At the house, again, I have to really take my hat off to our friend. The place looked phenomenal. Decorations were perfect, preparations were made to the last detail. I couldn’t help but think that we’re I, G-d forbid, to find myself having to host a party at my house, as a single dude.. suffice to say that there is no circumstance in my head where that works other than a dozen pizza’s a some beer.

The party itself was great, and we quickly divided ourselves up on gender lines and crammed as many people into the house as possible leaving an empty living room and den, so typical party. Mrs S must have prompted some of her friends to ask me about my “holiday attire”, which gave me a chance to mention my Christmas Thong. I had to stop however as was getting tired of helping folks clean up half chewed appetizers off the floor.

As far as the cocktail portion of the evening went.. I made my beer chili again, which went over well. The drinks however.. after making about 3 Poinsettias I found drinks to order to be inconvenient and switched over to a pitcher. I don’t thing the drink went over too well. Personally I wasn’t a fan, I don’t usually drink vodka drinks but since I was making them I had a sip, my review.. Blah. But I did start drinking the left over cranberry juice like it was free. Which it was, kinda. I think I drank enough of the stuff to put off any worry for any urinary issues for the rest of 2011 and well into the middle of 2012.

Somebody did bring a bunch of craft beers to taste. With the exception of the Forgotten Flem most were very good. My personal favorite was something called Moo Joos, personally I’m more of a city Joo than a Moo Joo but the beer is better than Magen David, the usual Joo vintage.

The Flem Beer BTW, was seriously the worst beer I’ve ever tasted in my life. And I mean EVER. Had an aftertaste like something dead. I’m say’n it was a couple days dead if ya know what I mean. It was a fun deal to taste all these except for the part where each bottle had to be split between 8 people. There’s a few that I could have a whole big boy bottle, but it is the holidays and I have a no drinking at holiday parties rule/guideline. I enjoy the holiday Designated Drier rule. Wake up easier on Sunday too.

Rest of the weekend a whole lotta nuth’n. Trying to avoid being caught idle but the ever searching eye of Mrs S. She’s got a running chore list in her head in preparation of our leaving next week and if she sees any of us sitting around we’re handed a section of list. Even those of us who don’t typically participate in list stuff.

And so ends the Christmas portion of the holiday revelry. Next week travel the following, New years and then…

 

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December 11, 2011 · 12:21 pm

A Hanukkah Paradigm

Happy Holidays everyone.

Holidays, not Christmas. I’m trained to say Holidays, although typically I don’t say anything, ‘cause I’m just not prone to dish out gratuitous salutations being curmudgeonly and all, Holiday season or not.

I was looking at the calendar this weekend, looking at our rigorous travel schedule, and I realized that, based on our flight dates and times I don’t think we can fit in Hanukkah this year with out some gymnastics I’m not interested in attempting. My tolerance for change is low . I sort of nonchalantly and without looking up from my calendar announced to the family “I think we’re skipping Hanukkah this year”. Hanukkah is so late this year, and we’re flying out the morning of the first day and coming back the last day. It would be really inconvenient to try to insert a celebration other than perhaps a candle or two, into that mix.

That went over well, the family, specifically the daughter, filed an immediate appeal with the Warden. My counter, it’s just Hanukkah, not a big deal. But before you go attacking for being some sort of Scroogenberg gimme a second to explain.

I find Hanukkah to be the little holiday that could, by all rights it should be a quiet little observance, but it’s not. In the list of important Jewish Holidays, the festival of lights falls somewhere between Purim and July 4th which isn’t really a Jewish holiday at all but I would advocate it’s observance because it has enabled the freest, happiest and most successful Jewish community in our history.

Hanukkah’s proximity to Christmas however, gives it a serious shot in the arm.

My mother grew up in Egypt, a country that doesn’t have much of a Christmas tradition. My Mom remembers the Hanukahs’ of her youth as being, well she remembers lighting candles on the Channukia, she remembered the old school kind where you put a little olive oil in a small cup added a wick and lit that and she remembers little else. But what about the gift a night? Blank stare. Latkes, did you make latkes? Nope, potato pancakes more of a European thing. Fact is they didn’t do much in Egypt.

Note- technically the 9 branched candle holder Jews light at Hanukkah is not a menorah, it’s a channukia. A menorah describes the 7 branched candle holder found in the Temple and in synagogues today.

My Dad’s parents immigrated to the United States in the 1910’s from Damascus. In Syria, from what they told me when I was young, they’d never heard of Christmas. When the family moved to Texas they were “adopted” by a neighbor who helped them assimilate into American society. One of the things they adopted for a while was a Christmas tree. The woman who befriended my Grandparents helped them observe American holidays and Christmas was one of those holidays. It was a while before they realized what Christmas was about and discontinued the practice.

I often find myself quite conflicted about Hanukkah. Growing up it was certainly a great holiday for me, I got lots of presents, we always lit candles, we bought into the gift a night thing. We had ourselves a jolly old Hanukkah

I can’t help think we Jews have really lost our perspective on this whole Hanukkah thing. For a lot of us this holiday carries the same weight as Rosh Hashanah, Pesach, Shavuot and even Yom Kippur. We have holiday dinners, we put up decorations for the it, something I don’t’ see for any other Jewish holiday, and have created a Hanukkah holiday observance that is uniquely American.

And this, in my opinion, is a sad thing, we have allowed Christmas to dictate our holiday observance. I’m sure a lot Jews feel like they’re missing something because we don’t have a big flashy colorful holiday with carols and wrapping paper and music and TV specials this time of year.

And I’m the first to admit, it’s difficult not to fall into the Christmas paradigm. Many of my Christian friends like to find Hanukkah cards for me, while they wouldn’t know to send me a New Years card at Rosh Hashanah or wish me an easy fast on Yom Kippur the go out their way to say Happy Hanukkah. They mean well. I get it.

The local schools used to ask us to come read a Hanukkah story in the class when the kids were small, (which would require a trip to library to find such a book) the idea was that kids would learn about different “holiday traditions” not realizing that really we don’t have a big holiday this time of year. But these days we don’t want the kids to miss out on something. That the line of thinking, that we Jews are missing out on something is what I really don’t like this time of year. South Park’s resident Hebrew Kyle summed it up on “Hard to be Jew on Christmas” It is at the heart of the reason Hanukkah winds up competing with Christmas this time of year in many Jewish homes.

If you want me to come talk about our “holiday traditions” let me come in the Spring when we’re about to celebrate Pesach or Passover. The observances are much more interesting and much more meaningful.

I’m not going to be some kind of hard ass who denies his kids the fun of opening some gifts on this holiday, but we have changed our observance significantly to make it more Jewish in nature. We do a small gift exchange, and we do it all on one night, to be selected based on every other thing we have going on in our lives, after all it’s not a big deal. We do light the candles every night, and say the proper blessings. I’ll make latke’s one night and we’ll go to Cecils in St. Paul for more latkes because, frankly, mine suck. We’ll do a movie night or family game night. Drediel is fun for a few minutes but if you really want to exchange some Hanukkah Gelt you have to come buy into a Sankary Family Hanukkah Poker game. They tend to go long into the night and have, on occasion, included full contact discussions.

And so here’s my thoughts on this time of year. Christmas is a magnificent holiday. It has significance and meaning way beyond a the observance of a military victory and extended burn oil lamp. I love the Christmas lights my neighbors put up, I love looking at the trees and the decorations. I’m impressed with manger scene the Church on the main drag puts up. I like Christmas music, for most of the season, I don’t even care if my kids have to sing carols at school, I can un-program them later.

Heck coreligionists wrote some of the best Christmas music out there much to local anti-Semite, Unitarian hater and all around windbag Garrison Keillor’s apparent disgust. You can read the details here.

Celebrate Christmas, do it up big, it has great traditions and lots of cool observances. I will leave it for others to determine where the observance of the birth of Christ starts and the horrible midnight Thanksgiving shopping commercial holiday craps ends. But I would ask my Jewish friends, and their Christian friends who are enabling this behavior to stop turning Hanukkah into the Jewish Christmas. We have 5000 years of our own magnificent traditions and observances and we really don’t need to feel left out of anything.

Go the neighbors Christmas party, enjoy the season with them, drink eggnog and fruit cake, but when you feel like sharing your traditions and observances with your Gentile friends, skip Hanukkah and try inviting them over for a Pesach Seder, I actually think you’re more religious Christian friends would jump at the chance.

Happy holidays everyone.

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December 26, 2010 · 1:32 pm

Weekend Update- Early Edition

You know, I would be a lot more sociable in the evenings around here if wasn’t waking up at 4:30am every morning. The older I get the harder it seems to be to adjust to time changes. I guess the old body clock just isn’t a nimble is it once was.

There’s alot of other things that aren’t as nimble as they used to be these days..

Yesterday, Christmas Day for most of you, I’m a little embarrassed to admit I watched some basketball. I think I mentioned here a few days ago that I was sort of excited about the NBA lineup for Christmas Day. As it was I was able to catch at least some of, meaning at least two quarters of, um… well… Five NBA games. The NBA  was on the TV from 9:30am until the end of the last game, by beloved Warriors beat down on the Portland Trailblazers ended, about 10:00. Heaven huh?

Mrs S was not so amused about 12 hours of basketball on the TV, but what else was I supposed to do.

I was supposed to socialize.

My excuse, my brother in law wasn’t socializing either… he was watching the games with me, when he wasn’t walking his dogs or mixing up egg nog.

Now I’m going to have to spend some today getting treated for sofa-sores. Lota ass time. Today I can take some time to recover as the family attention has been switched to football. I haven’t watched more than about 10 minutes of football this whole season, so no reason to start now. I’m actually saving all my football watching for two games; New Years Day’s Rose Bowl, Wisconsin v. Texas Christian University, and the National Championship Game on January 10th, Auburn v. Oregon. Oddly enough I’m not sure who to root for in either game. I like the Badgers, many many family members are Horned Frogs. I like Oregon, mostly because I like the Pac-10 and they seem to be one of the “good” ones in the Pac-10, second only Cal. Then again, Auburn is a favorite as well, there was talk that Middle Kid might go to school there a year from now. That’d be interesting. Actually that plan was going well until someone told him it was in Alabama. He’s not as excited to go now.

Holiday Gift Sweepstakes Results-

After the smoke of the gift exchange had settled down I couldn’t but make some observations on the Holiday Haul in the immediate family. Clearly the big winner hands down for Collmeyer-Sankary-Smiley gifts.. Steve Jobs and the fine folks at Apple. The combined list between all the families and all the holiday celebrations-

- Apple TV

- 4 different iPods

- 2 MacBooks

- iPad.

Rough estimate, $3500 in gear from the gang from Cupertino. The Job’s have a very Merry Christmas indeed.

Speaking of which, I ‘m sort of missing my Apple TV these days, I haven’t finished watching everything that Netflix has to offer on their streaming program. Just last week I sat down with my daughter and watched Rocky Horror Picture Show… I can now watch Rocky Horror ANY TIME I WANT. I love this country. Still, the girl was a little freaked out about whole transvestite thing and couldn’t get her head around what the point of the movie was. The point of the movie, as I would describe it is;

- Dance along to the Time Warp.

- Sing along to Touch Me.

- Oogle a young and very attractive Susan Sarandon

- Check out Meatloaf’s motion picture debut.

If there’s anything else in that movie worth doing let me know.

Tomorrow the kids are heading over to Northstar to ski. For the oldest kid, that makes a clean sweep on the slopes- every day for the entire week. Nice to be him.

 

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December 20, 2010 · 9:04 pm

On The Road Again

The Sankary Road Show kicks into effect on Wednesday. Seasoned travelers all we’re heading west (again) for our annual trip to Grandma and Grandpa’s house. This year we’ll be heading to scenic lake Tahoe for the week. Kids will ski, Mrs S will… I’m not exactly sure what she’ll do, and I’ll hide out at the Sister-in-laws house. A week of dedicated time with my kids and Mrs S scares the crap out of me. Good news, when she’s with her family there’s very little chance that she’ll want to engage in any conversation with me, there are more interesting people to talk too.

Note to the local thief’s- we do have a house sitter for the dog this year. If you are looking for anything in particular leave me a comment and hit ya back with where you can find what ever it is you’re looking for.

It appears that we’re going to be heading west between snow storms. The Winter Of 2010-11, capitalized on purpose out of respect for it’s fury, is turning out to be, what locals call, an “old fashioned winter”. I don’t know exactly what “old fashioned winter” means, as people memories are often fault when it comes to thinking about the horrors of the weather here in the northern climes. We’re actually leaving one storm and heading into another. Lake Tahoe is enjoying a massive dumping as we speak, and glancing at the forecast it’s supposed to be snowing there all week.

I do love snow, and cold. The difference between us and them, they’re going to have highs in the 30’s, we’re going to have highs in the 0’s.

I’m hoping, hoping hard mind you, that this years trip isn’t a repeat of the cluster that we experienced last year at this time. In case you missed it, here ya go. It’s not exactly starting off great. To begin with, we are having some trouble finding ground transportation from Reno to Incline. Apparently in the last year the car rental place at the Hyatt in Incline has closed their rental office so no more one way rentals from the airport. Not that I’d want to make a one way rental given that I’d have to put on chains at some point.

We don’t do chains, illegal in Minnesota. A factoid that to this day befuddles my friends and family in California where “chains” is synonymous with “winter driving”. I now believe that the only purpose that mandatory chain requirements serve out west is to force morons to slow down. You just can’t do 50, or 40, or 30 for that matter, in your Beemer when you’ve got chains wrapped around your tires.

So uh.. no rental means we have to find a shuttle. Last year we were able to get one, the shuttle route takes you from Reno, across the state line into California, over to Truckee, across 89 to the lake, stopping at every ski resort and St. Bernard kennel to King City, then up along the lake through Crystal Bay and finally to our destination, Incline Village, a ride of about two hours. One they dropped of us they popped back over the hill for the 20 minute jaunt back to the airport, a route only slightly less complicated than to go East, across the United States, ferry across the Atlantic to Europe, drive to China, catch a steamer ferry to San Francisco and then head up the hill to Incline.

Six of one, half dozen of the other the way I see it. But it does beat walking.

This trip also costs about $40.00 a person and since we have 5.. well I’m thinking we could rent a limo. Could be the best damned idea I’ve had in a long time. Back on the Internets I came across Jerry’s Limo and Car Service. There’s a picture of Jerry and a caption that says; “entrepreneur and Navy veteran”. Sounds like a ringing endorsement to me. Jerry’s picture has a guy with a handlebar moustache and leather cap.. the good kind of cap, the chapeau sort of cap.

What’s missing from Jerry’s portfolio is anything that even hints at the cost. Browsers are encouraged to call him and make arrangements as he’s a “independent contractor”. That’s the same way the legal bordello’s in Nevada work, makes me wonder where he got his business model.

Speaking of which, I’ll always remember the trip a couple years ago, we arrived in Reno, grabbed the bags and headed out to the curb to wait on the Bro-in-law to pick us up. As we stood there, I noticed a woman to our left, she was waiting on her ride as well. I smiled and nodded. Friendly sort like I can be. At the same time I nudged Mrs S and made a little comment in Arabic. My parents spoke a lot of Arabic around the house, that and some French, and along the way I picked up some words, not many of which are all that nice. Mrs S picked up a few too. The one Arabic word almost exclusively, meaning instead of the English word is shar-moota. Nicely translated, it means prostitute.

I don’t know if was her ¾ length, high collar fox fur coat, which was open showing her thigh high boots and the tiny little black dress she was wearing… Mrs S looked at me with disgust. “Must you always assume the worst?” “I’m jus’say’n dear..” “you’re a pig Sank”.

K.  I LOVE being right. On cue, not a minute later, a big limo with the MOONLIGHT BUNNY RANCH on the windows showed up. A fellow got out, grabbed her back, put her in the back and off they went. I just started straight ahead, feeling smug. “Hmm” was her response, “What’d’ya know”. Later on I did some research on the MOONLIGHT BUNNY Ranch site where I learned that 1) she was in fact a visiting movie star, her picture was all over it and 2) you could book time with her, right on line. Matter of fact you could book any of their ‘contractors’ right on line. Who knew? That’s about all I knew as Mrs S, who was sitting next to me on the sofa while I was researching had a few misgivings about my research, in spite of my protests that I was simply curious about how this process worked.

Moving on-

 

 

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