Election Day Thoughts

Election day 2014- years of voting a straight Democratic ticket are coming to an end. 

I’m a liberal in my heart of hearts but I’m also pragmatic and I am NOT an ideologue. I like to think that I consider issues thoughtfully and do my bestest [sic] to avoid partisanship. And with that in mind here’s what I’m thinking about Tuesday’s elections in Minnesota. 

Governor- Jeff Johnson. Actually I would more likely vote for Hannah Nicollet, the Independence Party candidate but, and this is after years of support IP candidates by volunteering and voting for them, I have come to the sad conclusion that voting for a third party today, despite what Ralph Nader would say, is in fact, throwing away my vote. 

Why Johnson, why Republican? Bottom line, Mark Dayton can’t lead. Never could. Not since he evacuated his Senate office in 2004 because he was afraid of a terror threat which oddly no ever Senator felt compelled to react too. 

Dayton has dropped the ball on a bunch of stuff

  • Vikings stadium. In his debate with Johnson a few weeks ago he made the following comments 1) The Vikings were going to move I had no options to negotiate. and 2) We told that we would not let the team go. Worlds worst negotiator or just stupid? Or both? Either way he cost taxpayers $600M by pandering to the NFL Cartel. Then to make it worse, he was “surprised” his scheme to raise $200M in a shitty bar gambling came, pulltabs, hasn’t paid off. Lame.  
  • And since it’s not his money, he gave them another $90M in tax breaks, plus a general ass raping of Minnesota businesses to “let” the NFL host their biggest annual party of the year here the Super Bowl. Go read the Star Tribunes published report on what we had to give the non-profit NFL to buy a Super Bowl. . No responsibility.
  • MNSure. I’m a supporter of European style not for profit heathcare. I wish we could figure out how to do it here. Matter of fact so much so that I think my son is better off staying in Israel where he can get decent health care rather than move back to the US where the privilege of real care is for the privileged. But the way MNSure was rolled out.. disaster. System problems all over the place because the company charges with bringing it online, failed.  And who was supposed to be checking to make the sure the contractors who we paid to do the work could actually do the work? Dayton was in charge when that happened and to his credit he as said, “I won it”. To late Mark. 
  • Minnesota’s economy is dong quite well these days, unemployment below 5%, 1.2B surplus. But even in this environment the only campaign issue Dayton has been consistent on in the last two elections- the need to raise taxes to pay for programs and infrastructure. The Vikings stadium BTW, doesn’t count as infrastructure. 
  • MetCouncil/Transportation. Here in Apple Valley we have the Red Line- and dedicated express bus line from Apple Valley to the Mall of America. $113M cost to build the line, current ridership, according the local paper 113 per day. That’s 5 people per bus. Surprised? No parking allowed at any stop except the two transit stations. Now way to cross Cedar to get on a opposite direction buses. Why? Because the Met Council forgot to include the cost of overpasses, another couple million, in the original contract. While Dayton wasn’t directly involved in the design and development of the line, the Met Council was, the majesty of Public Transport outweighed the reality that the line was a dead end, on both ends. And BTW the spending isn’t over, this has become it’s own self serving industry what millions allocated for more studies, more facilities and literally everything except building a route that someone wants to ride. What a waste of taxpayers money. 

Senator- Al Franken

I have to admit I’ve been really shocked by Al Franken the Senator. He’s done a decent job, which frankly I didn’t think he’d do given his SNL experience. Al’s taken the right positions on local issues like the farm bill, mental health coverage. He opposed wall street bailouts i like that. Was very supportive of Israel in their war with Hamas. 

End of the day, he deserves a trip back to the Senate. 

Congress- Mike Obermuller. Our current congressman John Kline has been disaster. He’s as partisan as they come. The last several elections the Democrats have run shitty unelectable candidates against Kline and he deserved to beat them, he was a far better candidate. Now however, Obermuller has a sold plan of attack for education and health care. Klein has a history of avoiding debates, he doesn’t like to talk about issues. After listening to his debate with Obermuller, a week ago, I know why, he can’t talk to issues. It’s time for John to come home, we need a change. 

Mayor- Anyone but Mary. She’s a disaster. Transit boondoggle, she hasn’t met a project she didn’t like and now we have a bus to nowhere. New business? Apple Valley’s center core is mess. Half filled lots, dying strip malls, roundabouts to nowhere. She’s terrible and no one holds her accountable. 10 years of happy talk for nothing. She’s got to go. 

There you have it. My thoughts on election day 2014. Get out and vote, and tell I told ya so. 

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Random Stuff

Some assorted acts of randomness because when it comes to posting, something is better than nothing don’t you think? 

I posted a little humorous graphic on my little Facebook page  with the caption “ ‘ I just need to see a couple more political ads on TV then I’ll make my decision’ said no one ever.” I couldn’t agree more frankly. But to be honest, the only  I’ve been exposed to this election season have been during the World Series and college football games. Live sports being the only bastion of live TV left in our house. And even those ads were muted, we mute the ad breaks and God Bless America segments of the broadcasts. 

Not that not patriotic, I just think baseball games are too long to begin and this whole singing yet another “national anthem” like song in the middle of the game to show that we are even more patriotic now that we were before we start doing this is at best disingenuous. 

Exile me to Canada if you must. 

Speaking of ads and disingenuousness, the ad where the dude comes home in the morning after a night a drinking where brags to his dog about his being all responsible and shit and not driving home last night. I’d like to see a second  later when he notices that his house smells like the big pile of dog shit on the carpet. “cuase that it would work at our house. 

Might not even take an overnight to get that result. 

Speaking of Giggs I had an epiphany about him today. If you know me personally you know the dog follows me around everywhere. Personally I find him one the best dogs I’ve ever owned from a runs away and do what I told him perspective. The problem is the rest of the family, they all hate him. Two kids have been bit by him, nothing serious just a nip here and there to keep them in line and everyone except me has been growled. Actually everyone one know who’s met the dog has been growled at. Hell I’ve been growled at. I don’t take however has he’s learned. 

The problem with Giggs, and many corgi’s, especially the Cardigan kind, are working dogs as such are genetically inclined to attach themselves to one person. And for Giggs, that person is me. I’m the boss and he, I’ve decided is the Assistant Boss. Which is why he sees it as his role to keep the other dogs in line around here with the occasional nip. I’m cool with it, the rest of the pack, not so much. 

Empty Nesting Trauma

I’ve cooked Thanksgiving dinner for a crowd the last 15-20 years or so, it’s sort of my thing. This year our dinner list has dropped to zero. Basically it will be just the four of us, two kids and two parents. To bad it’s not a Auburn Iron Bowl year for Auburn, I had suggested to the kid that if we had other plans for Thanksgiving this would be a good year to execute on them as there’s no reason to come home, nothing going on here. 

I’ve been in trouble with Mrs S before, but this was a big one. 

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Turkey Makes A Choice

Can The Djin Go Back in the Bottle?

Earlier this week it was interesting to see Turkish policies
regarding ISIL, be exposed for the world, and specifically her NATO allies to
see. There’s been some question in Western capitals about who’s side exactly
Turkey is on in the fight against these militants. Up until yesterday it
certainly looked like they were doing the unthinkable and supporting the

Turks were not allowing the US or her Arab
allies to use forward Turkish airbases to attack ISIL targets in Syria and

Turkish Kurds were being kept from entering
Syria to help defend Kobani from ISIL.

ISIL has realeased 49 Turkish hostages, Turkey
claims no ransoms were paid, a covert operation was launched. That doesn’t
really explain how 49 people, including men, women and children were released
from the center of ISIL territory, transported to Mosul and brought home with
not a shot fired. By hey, it’s their story, their sticking too it.  Reality is there was probably an exchange of

There have been pro-ISIL demonstrations in
Ankara an Istanbul in recent weeks, fundamentalist Islam is not dead in Turkey.

Now we hear the Turks have “changed” their mind and are allowing
the Kurds in move into Iraq. For sure securing Turkish nationals changes the
Turkish calculus in this engagement; it frees their hands a little bit. I’m
also guessing that Edrogan and his Islamic AKP party is has realized that
Islamic Fundamentalists on their southern borders are far worse than the
Kurdish state they’ve been fighing against for the last 40 years.

Edrogan came to power in Turkey 2003, as many moderate
Islamic politicians do, by promising to clean up corruption. Religious folks
seem to have the monopoly on that argument. He maintains his power base in
rural Turkey away from the secular cities. During the Arab Spring he spent a
lot of time flying around the Middle East promoting pan Islamic cooperation and
a new alliance of Middle Eastern countries that would be self-reliant and not
dependent on the West.

Along the way he’s consolidated power, removed the
opposition where ever he can and introduced more  restrictions on the press and social
media/internet usage. He’s led a shift towards Islamic law in Turkey, which
traditionally has been a non starter in Turkey due her 80 year tradition of
secular reforms introduced after the fall of the Ottoman Empire by the modern
state of Turkey’s founder, Kemal Ataturk.

Now I have to wonder if Edrogan’s Islamic genie is starting
to have concerns. It’s one thing to leverage nationalism and religious fervor
to make political gain, but what happens when you can’t controls the fervor?
Clearly the Turks are trying to choose between two realities, supporting the
Kurds, with whom they’ve fought an on again, off again low grade war for 40
years or more. Or do they hold back the Kurds and in doing so, give tacit
support to ISIL.





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It would appear that they’ve chosen to support the Kurds,
pragmatically kicking the Kurdish issue down the road to deal with a more ominous
reality. A fundamentalist Sunni state on Turkey’s southern border would have
serious implications on Turkey’s internal politics. A rise of Islamic Fundamentalism
in Turkey would be a fire that even Edrogan would have trouble putting out.


Filed under Edrogan, ISIL, ISIS, KURD, Kurdistan, Kurds, Turkey

When do we get serious about Ebola?

Pardon me for being an alarmist, 99% of the time I’m not a conspiracy guy or one who gets too excited about things.. but this Ebola business…

When things were getting bad in Africa, I wasn’t particularly worried, after all I’ve been told for a million years all the reason that Ebola couldn’t come to the US, and if it did, why we would be able to contain it quickly, this isn’t a failed third world African country after all, this is the US. Modern western countries know how to deal with this. 


  • You can only get it from direct contact with body fluids. Granted Ebola patients tend to leak a lot of fluids.
  • Modern medical procedures, isolation practices, gowns, visors etc will prevent secondary infections. 
  • Public Health policies will enable us to track folks who might be exposed and contain the contagion. 

All summed up the messages have been “not to worry America, we have this under control”. 
Well pardon me for be alarmed. 

  • Modern medical prodecures have failed in three known cases so far. More to come I bet. Sad thing is, we don’t really know exaclty how what happened. 
  • The Dallas Patient Zero had to go to the ER TWICE to get treated, despite telling folks that he’d just come from the Ebola hot zone. Did he bother mention that he’d cared for a woman dying of the disease? Don’t know. 
  • Apparently he sat in a room with other patients, shedding virus through vomit and other displeasurable things for 90 minutes. 
  • The Dallas hospiltal where he was a patient has reported 72 people had direct contact with him has part of his care team. But, assured the CDC, they’re all being monitored. 
  • Today we learn a second hospital worker has become infected and that the night before she started having a fever… aka showing symptoms, she was on a comercial flight, with 100+ other folks. 

So, how exactly are working to contain this virus? I’m actually getting a little concerned to be frank. 
My favorite quote of the day, a college in Texas has decided to ban students from any country in Africa that isn’t free from Ebola. Ironic given that Texas is currenlty not free from it and the Texas Department of Health seems to be operating at about the same level of effectiveness as the Liberian Ministry of Health. 

One of the issues here is we seem to be intersecting political correctness with or pandemic response, which is bullshit. 

My questions for the gang at the CDC and our President- 

  • So, we’re screening passengers from LIberia, Sierra Leone and Guinea, the areas hardest hit. Great, why are we even allowing flights from those countries to land on US soil? On something that spreads this easily and has a 50% mortality rate, shouldn’t we maybe err on the side of caution? 
  • And why are we sending the US Military into those countries? If we can’t protect professional health care workers we sure as hell aren’t going to be able to protect soilders. Personally, I think I’d rather face ISIL if I was in the Military. Then, what do we do with all those soldiers when they get home and start getting sick? I’m sure they’ll be 100% upfront and honest and report to the isolation ward at the first sign of illness. [sic]
  • So, people who are exposed to this deadly virus and as such are identified as being at risk to contract and spread the disease, we’re monitoring these people closely? Apparenlty monitoring doesn’t include making them stay off a fucking airplane? For 30 days or so stay home, go to your hospital job where we can keep an eye on you, but don’t get on a damed plane. BTW, apparenly the CDC is now working with the airlines to figure out who the passengers are so we can “monitor” them. I have to ask, what about the 1000’s of people she potentially interacted with at the airport. Did she shed virus at anytime when she was there? 
  • Do we even know how this is spread. Nothing else we’ve been told has been 100% honest, to be honest. 

Bottom line in my heart of hearts I don’t think this is going to be a pandemic like some doomsday folks would describe. My concern is why the HELL we aren’t treating this with over due caution as opposed to what looks from the outside anyway, like the minimum requirements. When SARS was going through Hong Kong, and granted it was spread via aerosol, making it much more contagious, the authorities in Hong Kong locked down an entire housing development until NO NEW CASES were present. 

It seems to me that this would be the same protocol for Ebola, because frankly the CDC, the Texas Department of Health and the WHO haven’t proven that they know how to contain this thing. 

Before we all jump off the deep end on this- a little bit of good news to keep you sane. 
So far, and now we’re approaching the 21 day window of for incubation we have NOT seen any infection with the family he was staying with, nor the ambulance first responders who brought him to the hospital on September 29. This supports the CDC’s statement that as the patent deteriorates they become more infectious. More importantly it  should help the people on the Frontier Airlines flight feel a bit better about their chances of not being exposed to the virus. 
With 5000 cases in the last few months in Liberia, we have learned a thing or two about the disease. This is good. 
The two nurses who have contracted the disease were involved in the patents care throughout the entire 10 days he was in the hospital including his last two days when he experienced complete organ failure and intensive bleeding. 
It still doesn’t excuse the actions of the Texas Department of Health. As a matter of fact the second Ebola patent is being evacuated out of Texas, she’s being sent to Emory University Hospital in Atlanta where there’s experience and expertise dealing with this disease. 

I’m certain there’s more to come on this. 


Filed under CDC, Ebola, Ebola Transmission, Epidemic, Frontier Airlines, Guinea, Ivory Coast, Liberia, Pandemic, Texas Department of Health, WHO

Long Overdue Dude

it’s been a week or two here SankWorld. I’d like to think we’re getting to the
point where things are getting better, but I don’t really see that happening.

is a bad thing given a little health scare I had a week or so ago. I’’ve been
told to do something’s differently. Both by the physician and by the resident
RN around here, Mrs S. 60 hour work weeks once in awhile, you do what you have
to to do, but every week… there’s a price for that and I’m going to wind up
paying it.

So change is in the works.

the easy one, it’s the weight loss that I have to get done as part of this
that’s going to suck.


no time like the present. Jewish New Year and all, the official time for making
changes. So lets get it done, before the choices aren’t mine anymore.

On more uplifting news-

It’s Fall here in the  Soon To be Great White
North. That means fall colors time. Lots of fall colors. Amazing fall colors
this year thanks to the 25” of rain we got back in June. Trees had lot of
nutrients to make great foliage or some damned thing.

Fall is, hands down, my favorite time of the year. Bugs are gone, the world around
here is painted gorgeous, crisp nights make sleeping easy.. so much to like.
Made it out for some fall fishing on Saturday. Launched the boat at 7:30 am, it
was 25 degrees out. Boat ride at 25 degrees means no need for coffee.

But it was well worth it for the photos I took…Enjoy


Filed under Life

Online Privacy- A Revolution is Coming

There’s a little revolution going on in America these days, a revolution that’s just a bit overdue in my humble opinion. 

Sunday night this fat man was in his local Target for a quick fill in trip. On almost every trip I make to Target I stop by the Starbucks counter to pick up a coffee.  On this particular night I did not, instead I went to the grocery aisle, grabbed a few things and checked out. When you check out at Target these day you get a handful of coupons. That night I got a coupon for 50% off any baked good at Starbucks when I bought a cup of coffee. Sweet right? Coincidence, no.  

Also this week we’re having some mouse problems around the house. Happens every fall, the temperatures start to cool down and the critters come in from the woods and look for places like my garage to overwinter. I googled pest control, surfed a couple websites and didn’t think anything about it. A few minutes later, I went to the Breaking Bad Wiki to look up a character there on the side of the page was an ad for pest control. 

*&%$! I’d been tracked. 

On the way home from the mouse trap store NPR ran a story about how companies are using your smartphones to track and plot your movements through out the entire day. If they know where you go, they can start to predict where you’re going to be, know more about your preferences, know more about the population segment you belong too.… Profiling you basically but since it’s for private use no one cares, or knows or both. 

The point of all this data is so that marketers, retailers and service providers can understand you, as each and every one of you better in order to serve you up more relevant advertising, more personalized offers, and predict what you like and what it takes to incent you to buy. 

Rest assured they tell us, there’s no identifiable information, just some benign averages that help them help you have a better experience on their websites, blah blah blah. 

Telemarketers are way ahead of the online tracking crowd when it comes to personalization and segmentation. They’ve been doing it a lot longer and although they may not have the sophisticated tools that the online folks, I almost never pick up a telemarketing call on my home phone that doesn’t start with “Hello Gary” or “Mr Sankary…” Not much more personal than that. 

I’m going to go on record with two statements, words of wisdom that I’ll pass along to my kids.

If you aren’t paying for it, you aren’t the customer, rather you are the product. 

I don’t want to be the product. I’m not for sale, or am I?

I think one of the most common little white lies I’m told these days is “we use cookies to give you a more personalized and richer experience on our website.” What they mean by that is “we use cookies to help us understand what you do online so we can fine tune our understanding of you and sell that data to just the right advertiser. 

Back in the day I had a geography professor who used to say that the one universal law of the world he’d found was “there’s no such thing as a free lunch”. 

This is the modern version of that axiom. Facebook is fun to use, but rest assured you ain’t the customer. It’s a very disarming and subliminal tool that folks have invented to get you to tell them all about yourself in ways that if they came out and asked you straight up, you’d tell’m to go sod off. Keep that in mind when you start liking companies and products. 

Nothing good ever comes from collecting human data. 

Oh I know, lots of medical advances can be attributed to statistical models and contact maps of people’s behaviors. There is a lot of sociology and psychology that relies on studying groups of people, and to study groups of people you have to segment them and look for patterns in behaviors.  

But what happens when all this “good” data goes to bad purposes? 

Years ago when I was working at a Big Box retailer we were listening to a presentation by a German company who had developed some really interesting statistical modeling and data analysis tools that they were using to segment people. They created a groups based on peoples age, race, gender, buying habits, propensity to shop in certain ways, at certain times. Great data for specific targeted ad campaigns. 

I however, couldn’t get the following thought out of my head; Man, those Germans just can’t stop categorizing people. 

You get my point. In 1935 they used IBM products to do it, now they’re using far more sophisticated tools. But this is 2014 and Google and Facebook and everyone else has promised to “do no evil” and a company isn’t the government and we should trust them to do good in the world. 

I argue they can’t help it. Once the data is collected it’s just too damn tempting. I hear from my kids “I don’t care if they tack me, not like I’m doing anything illegal or weird. I like getting 11 cents off my $4.00 coffee at Starbucks”. Or my neighbor, I think it’s great that Walmart will find any deals I missed and refund the difference to me on a card. 

So, you sign up for a service where you basically tell Walmart about every thing you buy from them, regardless of tender; credit card, check and cash and for that you get how much back? About 11 cents. 

So what’s the problem? 

Benign scenario - Gay households spend tend to spend more on home decor categories than traditional families. They also tend to have more disposable income, which makes them more attractive to retailers who sell these products. The clever analyst at the Big Box home improvement store uses data mining tools on social networks to figure out who likes the Advocate on Facebook,  who sends tweets and Foursquare updates from Gay bars. They mine credit card and loyalty card data to figure out who’s spending more on Home Decor than they’d expect. 

 Little cross referencing of emails and address in the customer database with their email address from social network sites, and add in some known website vists, known because the stores tracker beacons follow them around the net as they browse sending that data back to the mother ship, and boom, we have a list of folks who we think are going to be our best customers in Home Decor and we can start sending them offers to email, smartphones, texting when they’re in the stores (Because they signed up for our store app), it’s marketers dream, and they’re scrambling to get better and better at it all the time. See Big Data…

Benign scenario gone bad – That Big Box guy, while he many have no intention of his list ever leaving his organization, heck it’s proprietary. It will be safe behind the firewall of his big company. Which BTW was breached to the tune of 100M customer records just a few weeks ago, and now the list is in the wild and it’s on a radical groups website and it’s been retitled “Known Homosexuals”. Has their addresses, emails and maybe their credit card data. 

Get the point? 

As this scenario develops, as we tell the anonymous cloud more and more about us, the day WILL come when this information will be used for bad.  

So, what do you do? 

You protect yourself and your privacy. 

Rule number one for privacy I’m sad to say, don’t use Microsoft Explorer to surf the net. Even if you have Windows 8.1 and like the slick integrated web pages.. there are no add ons available for Explorer to block tracking or ads. This is a deal breaker for me. I use Firefox, Safari and Chrome. 

For those browsers there are two big players in the online privacy space to think about, I use them both. 

Ghostry-  Ghostery is browser add on that blocks almost 2000 commonly used web trackers and the list is updated almost daily. Included here are beacons, ad placement trackers, privacy trackers, widgets etc all of which monitor you online behaviors and send that data to an aggregation tool which either uses it or sells to the highest bider. That’s YOUR DATA being sold Seems to me like it should be yours to sell. 

Note that there are some websites that will pay for you allow yourself to be tracked for this purpose. They seem more honest than having LargeOnineStore drop a tracker on your web page that sends back information about our pornography preferences or your banking habits. 

AdBlockPlus- Ad block software finds places on websites where code from third party sites are placed. This codes allows ad tracker tools to layer in the specific ad selected for you. It blocks this code so you never need to see the ad. Iv’e been using it so long I can’t stand surfing without it. Your favorite websites, with adblocker running really look nice a clean, no side bar ads, no flash video bogging down your computer, no banners, it’s really nice. And, no ads running before the video or news story you want to watch. It catches misdirect before the piece you want to see and blocks it. 

Do these things work? Well, Google blocked them from the Play Store and Microsofts won’t even turn them so I’m thinking ya, they work. 

In addition you can turn off your cookies, or your third party cookies, or have them delete themselves at the end of your session. Means you have to sign into sites every time, but personally its worth it. Or buy 1Password, and sign in securely every time and don’t worry about remembering your pass. 

SmartPhones- These are tougher, the blocking software isn’t there, and the devices are controlled by the cell companies who are interested in selling data about where you go every day (Collected right from the phone and correlated from the cell towers.) 

An extreme solution, if you worried about this, is to buy a $20 faraday bag. Looks like a metallic envelope. When you walk into your favorite store, assuming you don’t need your phone, slip in the bag and the phone is isolated from all signals incoming and outgoing. You won’t be tracked, but you can’t be called either. 

Personally I just leave the phone in the car when I’m shopping. 

Better thought is to NOT use any retailers phone apps. Savings are minimal and those apps, that you allow to use your location services when you agree to terms of service, means when you are in the store, they’re tracking you movements, When you’re in a competitors store they’re also tracking your movements. 

So there’s a school of thought that says I’m bringing down the free version of the internet. Personally that would be OK with me, I’d rather pay $20 a month for ad free email than see stupid text messages at the top of my list of messages. (Which I don’t really see because they’re blocked). Personally I believe that this advertising has become so intrusive and such a clear violation of privacy I’m justified in trying to protect myself. 

And I’m not alone. Ad Blocker and Ghostry each are reporting over 150K downloads a month and the numbers are growing. 

Google, the worlds only real search engine these days, which is 100% about data mining and tracking is starting to notice a small search engine upstart DuckDuckGo.com, If you have’t heard of them yet you will. Their motto is simple “Google tracks you, we don’t”. This summer Apple made them the default search engine in Safari. 

The Europeans are ahead of us in this arena. In Europe there are much better protections for privacy than what we see here in the US. Cookies have to be disclosed, individuals can have their online profiles and data purged. 

Here every time congress has tried to enact consumer protection laws data companies, internet giants etc have successfully blocked it, claiming they can police themselves. I don’t agree. 

Between the Edward Snowden NSA disclosures and daily Russian and Chinese data breeches stealing our personal data blind we’re going to get to a point where Americans are going have and enough of all this intrusive penetration into our privacy. And I’ll be there rooting them on. 

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Filed under Ad tracking, AdBlocker, DuckDuckGo, Ghostry, Google, Internet, Internet Privacy, Privacy, Tracking

Random Family Observations on Family and Gender

Mrs S was backing her Camry out of her coveted spot in a Synagogues High Holidays parking lot. During the holidays any parking spot within in a mile of the shul is coveted.

It was my job to alert her if she was going to hit something. But, shock of all shocks, I found myself distracted. I was trying to calculate the delta between the value of my wife’s car and the new BMW she was about to back into. Strangely fascinating for some reason, and probably a significant gap in value, I’m guessing somewhere in the neighborhood of $73.5, $75K for the Beemer $1.5K for her 1997 Toyota Camry. That includes the $.5k for the new snow tires and rims that we just bought for it. BTW new lock tight, easy change rims that when asked at dinner last night by a friend “what are they for?” I answered “they’re a way for tire stores to build margin and sales dollars when housewives come in and ask about snow tires.”

Funny what distracts me, right after I said that I was distracted by Mrs S calling me something bad. Good thing we were with friends, or as I liked to think of them last night “witnesses”. “Have another glass of wine pumpkin”.

Good news is she didn’t hit the car, she saw it, no thanks to me mind you, and was able to avoid the collision. What a great way to kick off the new year with the family, ignoring my wife’s requests.

Speaking of rims, it’s never too early to start thinking about swapping out snow tires. Said the guy sitting on the porch writing this piece when it’s 82 degrees the Twin Cities. I think we might have a couple weeks or so before we have to start thinking about winter weather around here.

I had planned to go to the lake this weekend. This is the time of year when I make lots of plans to go to the lake but actually cash in on almost none of them. I feel like I haven’t been home in a while and since I had to come back early anyway for a friend’s wedding party tomorrow meh…

Mrs S was asking what we should get the 50 something year old newlyweds who have been living together for 5 years or so, and whom were married previously. [Not to each other, just to be obvious] I’m a great gift giver, Mrs S not so much. She takes too long to pull the trigger on gifts. Analysis paralysis. I’m a pick and go kinda guy.

“So what should we get them?”

“Lets gett’m a fantasy basket from Fantasy Gifts (allegedly the local “marital aids” store). I think gett’m some oils and gels and a few small appliances would be a great gift that they wouldn’t buy for themselves.”


More silence punctuated by indignation. Feigned indignation mind you, the very best kind.

First of all I am not a pig, I’m a normal 51 year old dude who is not quite dead yet. Close but not room temperature.

And what she might ask, and did ask, would I do if I got a gift like that from friends? Well I’d laugh, I’d pretend to be embarrassed, I’d close the box as soon as I opened it and remark how funny and clever everyone was and move on. And I’d put the box aside ignore it while my guests were around. BUT and this is a big but, I guaran-damn-tee-ya my heart of hearts would be high fiving my personal libido button about right then. Just thinking about trying out that massage oil that bursts into flames when you blow on it.. man, I’ve read about stuff like that and now here it is.

Homecoming at the Casa Del Sank-A-Ray this weekend. The daughter is going. I was not consulted, or conciliated. I guess that had I been consulted I would have to have been conciliated because I would have said “Nyet”. Hate dances, hate big teen events, hate socializing. Waste of time and money. Unfortunately my frugal relationship burning ways did not get passed on to the girl. And there’s this issue that Mrs S is down to her very last couple chances to get a kid all spit shined and polished up for pictures and an event. Boys never went to a dance. Hell they never went on a date that I know off. Fact is one’s 23 and ones 20 and as far as I know, the streak remains intact.

This homecoming thing has already cost me in hair appointments, which Mrs S assures me are like $12.00. Probably less since I’m told that’s the amount she tells me her monthly cut and color costs. Girl don’t need no coloring. Great Clips is like $10.00 last time I checked. Last haircut I paid for BTW… $8.00 in 1992. I digress. Dress came from Kohls so I know it was cheap. In every way mind you.

“Hey Dad want to see my outfit for the dance?”

“Sure” I never get included in anything around here.

She came down and showed it to me.

“What do you think Dad?”

“Uh, where’s the rest of it?”

Eye roll, the female exhale of indignation, blah blah blah..

The disembodied voice from Mrs S up in her room on the feinting couch.. ’cause if she don’t get her chill time in, it’s hell for all.

“Why did you bother to ask him?”

“‘Cause he things we don’t include him in anything.”

“He’s whining”

Blah blah blah

But you know, I hadda make a point “I can HEAR YOU GUYS”.

Which apparently is really funny to Mrs S because I can’t hear anything else she says.

Which is why I have a man cave, where it looks like I’ll be hiding out this weekend.

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