After taking three weeks off to attend to various departures and social events I made it back to the lake this weekend. Looked forward to some nice decompression along the scenic shores of beautiful Big Blake Lake. It weren’t for the headache I woke up with on Saturday it woud have been a perfect opportunity to decompress. This was Eric’s last weekend before his departure for school and I thought it’d be nice for the entire clan to spend some time hanging out before we get down to just three. And I was hearing the sirens call of a lawn not mowed in two weeks.
If there were one thing I could do differently when it comes to owning homes it would be to find abodes without lawns. I don’t know whose idea it was back in the day to think it would be a good idea to settle in on “lawn” as a the benchmark of successful suburban home management. A guy’s lawn provides everyone who passes his house an opportunity to make an instant assessment of a fellows character and manliness without ever having had to even bother to meet the guy. Doesn’t seem fair if you ask me.
A perfect deep green lawn with no weeds, no bare patches and no dry spots sends a message to the world, it says “here lives a fellow who has complete reign over his .20 acres off the world”. It’s a guy in charge. It’s guy with who has the very power to control nature, or at minimum enough wealth to hire serfs to control nature for him. It’s power. And single women who own homes, get a total pass on the whole lawn thing. It’s as if a side effect of testosterone was a greening of grass around you.
Maybe it is?
Personally I tend to think a guy with a perfect lawn, like 90% of my neighbors mind you, must be enslaved by the tyranny of life form so primitive all it can manage to do is suck up water and be green. And though I’m loathe to admit it, I’m a little jealous. But not so jealous that I’d spend anytime worrying about it, because truth be told, I’m not a fan of the yardwork thing. I’m seriously looking forward to day when Mrs S and move into that urban condo somewhere and this whole lawn thing goes away once and for all.
Why just last Friday, after I got home from work and before we got in the car and drove up to the lake, what do you think the first thing I did? Mowed the lawn. In a condo that won’t be a problem.
Except at the cabin. There, I’d like to figure out a landscaping scheme that eliminates my having to deal with a full ½ acre of grass. Rider mower or not, it’s still a pain the ass even thought I really don’t do anything to it other than mow it and occasionally spray for dandelions. I do have to get up there at least every other week to mow otherwise I find the grass up to my ass, especially early in the season. I could pay someone to do it, sort of rankles my desert heritage to do so given that I’m charged $50.00 a mow.
And as I write this I realize that this I do realize that I’m whining. And to make matters worse I’m whining about what is clearly one of those things at the top of the list of first world problems.
The good news is at the moment I don’t have anything serious to complain about.
Speaking of lawns, I do have a little problem that I’m not sure what to do about with my home lawn. We have a frog problem. Reports about the demise of the world’s amphibian populations are a little premature, at least in my yard. This year for some reason we’re experiencing what I can only describe as an “invasion” of frogs. You literally can’t walk across the grass in back yard without having 2 or three frogs jump at every step. There has to be hundreds of them back there. Cute little leopard frogs, all about the same size which leads me to believe that we had a really good hatchling class last summer, they look to big to be this years recruits.
And when I run the mower back there… It’s awful and I feel awful. I drive the thing as slow as I can, barely moving it to try to get give them a chance to jump away, and some do…. But when I’m done and taking the mower back to the garage the carnage I leave behind.. frogmageddon, looks like a frog bomb when off, pieces of frogs everywhere, a few mortally wounded animals trying to crawl away, missing a legs or worse. I honestly hate the idea of this carnage and have stopped mowing the lawn every week, which probably makes the problem worse because I’m certain that higher grass attracts more frogs.
Not sure what the answer is, any suggestions would be appreciated.