The Fantasy of Baseball

Baseball is in the air again.

Despite the ice and snow and the NBA this is the time when I start thinking about baseball again. Fantasy baseball, good summer fun. Kinda.

I realized a long time ago that winning the lottery just isn’t the cards for me. Nor is making money in real estate, the stock market, or anything other kind of investments including fantasy baseball. My fantasy baseball record, lifetime now, is 0-17. My teams tend to finish in the bottom third of every league, usually right above the guys who setup their teams and never revisit them again for the rest of the year. Actually, a couple years ago one of those “never revisit the team” guys came in second, goes to show you. How a guy can win a game that requires minimum weekly attention much less daily befuddles me. I wonder if he buys lottery tickets.

My typical fantasy season goes something like this;

  • 2 weeks of pre-draft research as I dig into stats and discussion of every player in Major League Baseball. This is the most fun for me BTW. Also the most expensive as I usually purchase a couple different $10.00 magazines for my reading pleasure.
  • Create my cheat sheets of players, ranked by performance, morals and how much I like them or not like them depending on the player.
  • Eliminate all Dodgers and Red Sox from my list. Actually I don’t eliminate them per se anymore since this might be one of the reasons for my poor performance. But I rarely pick a player from either team because I hate them. Strong word hate.
  • Participate in a “mock” draft to see how my picks might work out.
  • Participate in the real draft. That’s highlight of the season for me.
  • Get my team and congratulate myself on my excellent draft strategy.
  • Season starts, I zoom to the top of the charts and typically lead the league for the first month or so.
  • Watch the injury reports come rolling in while the team sinks like rock.

I believe that I could make a few bucks by contact players in their contract years and making the following blackmail like proposition. For the sum of $11.75 I promise I will not draft you this season and thereby will save you from the going on the DL in your contract year. I can produce a list of players who have been subject to the Sank-a-Curse, maybe a brochure about what kind of injuries guys I pick incur; torn ACL’s, rotator cuff, the dreaded sports hernia, or even worse a California 50/50 Divorce.

If Tommy John has a surgery named after him, I should be honored with anterior capsule repair, aka shoulder surgery. Ask Johan Santana about that.

So we’re off and running on a new fantasy baseball season. I have no expectations. I’ll do my study, work on my team, make my picks and watch them fall to every injury a baseball player can get. And along the way I’ll have a great time.

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2 Comments

Filed under Life

2 responses to “The Fantasy of Baseball

  1. I am starting my preparations too. I have to defend that 11th place finish.

    Good Luck!

  2. It is the optimism that keeps us coming back to sports and fantasy baseball. Go Giants! and I predict you win this year. How can I get a piece of your team?

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