A quick dash to the lake this weekend. Mrs S had a little home improvement project to accomplish. She installed a new floor in the kitchen. By she, I mean She and a good buddy of mine, She and He installed the kitchen. I as in Me did not. When projects come up and Mrs S starts picking teams to work with her, like when she repaired the ceiling in the entry way that was damaged by last years ice damn, I am never in the running for a starting spot on the team.
As a matter of fact when teams are selected, it never enters her mind to select me. Which is fine by me because A) I’m used to it, a lifetime of participation in neighborhood sports has prepared me well to deal with the shame of never being picked in the first round, or any round and B) I’m not so handy. No, that’s being kind, I suck at a lot of home improvement projects.And it’s probably OK to suck at home improvement projects when you hate doing them. Which comes first you ask, “suck” or “hate”? I don’t know, but it’s a good philosophical question and might be the new title of the self help book I should write.
And believe me, I do sucketh so, especially projects which involve color or the application there off or those which require tremendous detail, or anything with electricity. When it comes to the house I’m a fat color blind, ADD affected demitard. But at least I know myself.
For some reason however, I do rock at plumbing projects. Water and porcelain I’m good at.
Speaking of ‘lectricity, little case in point- 10 years ago I installed a 3-way switch in the hall, the light fixture has three different switches up and down the hall. To this day, I don’t know the exact combination of switches on and off to achieve a state of illumination. I walk up and down the hall flipping shit until I get light. Luckily any one flip achieves darkness. Mrs S complained about this from 2002, when I installed it, to 2006 when she realized I wasn’t going to do anything about it. She has however figured out how to get light on her first try every time. This I find odd given that she can not figure out how to run our AV system beyond “on”. She has difficulty finding the right input; TV, DVD, Apple TV is a challenge despite the fact that you simply press the HDMI button until the right one comes one, and recording a show always requires hands on and commentary free support. This role has been played by her sons over the years, but with them gone.. Comment free is getting harder and harder.
In hindsight I wonder if it’s because it takes 4 remotes to execute any function on that system? Hmmm…
Not there aren’t some things I’m good at, moving refrigerators and stoves with nothing more than my brain and dolly for example. I can pretty much move anything with a dolly, which must be why I have 3 of them in my garage. Seriously, and I only explain how one of them got there.
We ripped up to the lake Friday night. We’re to that time of year, that post Labor Day time, when leaving at 6:00 or so on Friday night means we don’t arrive at the lake in daylight. It also means, and this gets worse as the fall goes on that deer are roaming everywhere, which means I don’t take my short cuts on secret county roads that are identified only by letters anymore. Too many deer to hit in the dark.
Why the letters BTW? Someone in Wisconsin decided long ago that the best way to keep out-of-staters from finding there way around rural counties and at the same time give local kids a jump start on reading is to name every county road with a letter.
For example my secret route to our palace by the lake is as follows:
94 East to Wisconsin, get off at the Roberts exit Hwy 65. Enjoy your last stretch on a number. 65 jogs around a bit. Oddly enough, and I didn’t see this coming, especially in Wisconsin, the national craze to install English style roundabouts has manifested itself in the Badger state. 4 have been installed in the 4 miles through Roberts WI.
Just so we’re clear let me make a simple observation for you; The United States passes on the metric system because collectively the nation can not absorb change or figure out base 10 counting or believe it to be a commie plot, but then we impose roundabouts on unsuspecting farmers who use these roads for the giant 1 1/2 lane wide combines every Fall?
They’ve been working on these things all summer and now they’re done. Just as the combines are to come crawling down the highway. The Hipster urban planners adopting the latest trends in road design clearly don’t realize how rural roads around here are used. Sounds like a lawn chair and an ice chest are in order to watch one of these roundabouts this fall, the entertainment factor might just surpass the first warm weekend of the spring at the boat ramp for sheer human drama and lunaticerry.
Basically to get the house take 65, make a right on E, 6 miles then left on T. Stay on T for 18 miles, then a Right on A, A takes you to GG then because they’re repaving E, I hop over to H, pass I to Balsam lake and go back to G to then over to E and up to our road.
If you live or travel in Wisconsin you know how these directions go and you know that there is no rhyme or reason to the lettering process, at least none I’ve been able to figure out except I’ve never come across a county road B. Odd.
So the floor the went in with very little drama, the appliances were returned to their original homes but not before I was chastised for not removing everything from the fridge before moving it. “I did too” “No you didn’t “Yes I did” “Sank, everything in the fridge is piled up one side, the DOWN DOLLY side. You didn’t take a thing out of there” “Not the beer”. She double checked. “You only took out the beer” quizzical look, “I prioritized the important stuff.”
Suck or hate.. hate or suck?? Hard to know.