Good morning Minnesota. Sun’s coming now, reach with me won’t you? Lets reach across the pillow, grab a Winston out of the box, grab the lighter and spark up a smoke, lean back and draw deeply.
We had us a rough night people. A rough night.
We wake up this morning with our sheets wrapped around the posts, hair a mess and sitting next to us, with a big smile on their collective faces, the legislative leaders of the great State of Minnesota.
And we’re a little sore where we shouldn’t be. To the tune of $450M dollars sore.
So, once again to quote her highness, the Viking Queen herself, The Honorable Senator Julie Rosen R Fairmont. We did what she was hoping we wouldn’t. We took those NFL guys to task, hung’m upside down and shook the living tar out of ‘um and grabbed up their pocket change, $50M bucks worth of change. Nice chunk of money on its own, but a drop in the bucket given the $500M we tax payers are still on the hook for for the new Vikings Stadium.
The good news for us, and I mean those of us who are going to wind up paying for this with bonds and taxes and a drop in support for things we might really need, like transportation and education. This is the state after all with one of the largest achievement gaps in the country between White and Black students, we have some other things to work on around here. The good news is there’s a chance the Ziggy and Spiders from Mars.. the NFL Gang won’t accept even a $50M increase in the amount they’ve been asked to contribute and might bail anyway, or force us to renegotiate. And why would they accept it? According to Fox News here in the Cities, LA is chomping at the bit the “rejoin the NFL” and apparently they’re waving boatloads of cash around.
Ok. If that’s the case let me be the first in line to help the LA Vikings pack their stuff and get the hell outta here. The league has been wanting to put a team in LA for 17 years. Forcing situations like this puts them in a total win win situation. They either get my money or they get LA’s money. So we’re instructed to believe.
Well, actions speaking louder than words and actions would tell you that for the last 17 years no one has been able to put together a deal to actually get a team into Los Angeles. Reality is, most folks in LA couldn’t give a crap, they don’t have the cash either, and frankly the football fans in LA kinda like having their choice of football to watch on Sunday. When the Raiders and the Rams were in town.. it was black out city. My Angelino friends are notorious for backing winners, and only winners. .500 season and you’ll be playing to empty stadiums. Again. And they get NO football on TV. That’s how it was, ask ‘um.
What LA has been good for however is that they make a most excellent bullet for the NFL’s Tax Money Extortion Racket. Wanna new yard? Want it for free? Just say Ell Ayy… Say it with me.. Ell Ayyy… and boom. Legislators, more afraid of upsetting football fans and being tagged as the legislator on whose watch a beloved team bailed on a town than of the Tea Party No SPENDING, NO TAX platforms they were espousing just a year ago, line up climb in bed with us taxpayers and.. lets just say 50 Shades of Gray was at least consensual, so I’m told. . This was not. This more prison style.
Last night, in a closed door meeting with members of the Senate, House, Governor, City of Minneapolis, Vikings.. I must be f’n stupid because I’m pretty sure that when government types meet and spending public money is on the table that meeting is required, by LAW to be open to the public. Not this time. Senate Majority Leader Dave Senjem R-Rochester justified ignoring statue with the following statement. “we want to respect the business privacy of the Vikings.”
Move over Senator Rosen, we have another candidate for Moron of the Week.
Extortion: Getting something by force. The acquisition of something through the use of force or treats.
(Ellll Aaaayyyy… Elllll Ayyyyyy)
When you’re extorting the taxpayers of Minnesota, at least have the decency to observe the spirit of our laws which clearly say, do this in the open and let the sunshine illuminate the details of deals we’ll be paying for long after you’re dead. We are not only going to pay for this for evah, we also pay the salaries of the folks doing the negotiating for us.
Maybe that’s a conflict of interest. Clearly I’m not bright enough to understand how for the second time in 5 years Minnesota T. Taxpayer is getting a stadium deal rammed down his throat with secret back room deals and underhanded maneuvering.
*sigh* about all I can do is snuff out my butt and get a start on my day. Little sore, a little poorer and lot less confident in my state government.