Mr. Sank’s Pissy Day

So, it’s going to be one of those days huh. Bad for me, gold mine of content

To my physician-

Thanks for the early morning appointment Buddy, ‘prechiate it. , but when I’m sitting there ass hanging outta the “gown” and you realized that ya forgot your tongue depressor, or rubber glove or what the ever the hell it was you forgot back in your office, shut the f’n door behind you when dash outta the room please. It’s embarrassing and drafty.

To Eunice, cashier at the big store I visited today..

Honey, there’s a reason a man surounds an item from the health care department that he’s embarrassed to buy with magazines and stupid shit I don’t need, should be obvious to you. What I don’t need is for you to pull my “special” item out of the pile and leave it on the counter while you scan the rest of the stuff. I enjoyed watching the people in line behind me get a chuckle dumb-ass.

Just so ya know, I’m not all that mature.

To my Bestest Buddy Neighbor who is taking my daughter to see Rush tomorrow night.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I ‘prechiate it big time. Owe ya one, and I owe ya more than the $50.00 for the ducat. And damnit, kudo’s to you sir for agreeing to wear a “#1 Chaperone” I was kinda excited to hear that she was interested in seeing Rush. The middle kid and I saw Rush at the State Fair last year, they were awesome. Great musicians, matter of fact when we saw them it was Alex Leifson celebrated his birthday the night we saw them. Man sure ripped on Tom Sawyer. My neighbor is a lucky guy.  What that you say? It’s not that Rush? Big Time Rush? That’s not the Power Trio from Toronto?

I did a little research and learned that I owe the Neighbor even more than I thought. This sounds like pure unadulterated hell. But he’s a much better Dad than I. Nicer too.

To the woman on Nicollet Mall who became Surplus Population years ago

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished. There’s a lot of people around here who haven’t learned that axiom, and believe me I’ve come to the conclusion that not ONE good deed falls into this category.  The fellow I gave a fiver to on Nicollet mall, homeless guy who I’ve seen for years and who looked like he could use a lunch, got me a tongue lashing from a 75 year old bitty who accused me of contributing “a liberal agenda of codling bums” cause “these people should go to work not beg for handouts for booze and drugs.” I told her that I would have just given him drugs but alas, I was tapped out.

I did have a thought, I’ve changed my tune and I want everyone to get religion, do good works and get into Heaven. Should make Hell a lot quieter for me.