To go or not to go?
Damned social networking-
If hadn’t been for Facebook I would have never given a second thought about attending my 30th High School Reunion this September. The organizing committee would have never found me, not that they did this time either, the idea of making a visit to Stockton wouldn’t have even entered my mind. High School for me was a mostly forgettable experience. The one friend from those days who I’ve sort of kept up with over the years wouldn’t be caught dead at an event like that, and other than him there just isn’t much I that would compel me to spend the time and money to go back to Stockton and reconnect with folks whom I’ve not seen or had contact with in 30 years.
And then along came Facebook.
All of a sudden I’m catching up on line with some of the people I went to high school with, some of whom I can even actually remember. I find myself in free moments thinking about the old neighborhood, wondering of any of my folks old friends are still alive, who’s living the in the house I grew up in, what’s happening back home.
It’s not like I don’t see the old ‘berg on the news from time to time, annually it gets called out on Forbes or Yahoo as the “worst place to live in America” or “Top 10 cities on the Misery list”. Not exactly the kind of press the visitors bureau would want, but then again not unexpected based on my experiences growing up in Stockton. It was pretty troubled back in the 70’s, I can only imagine what the place is like now with 25% foreclosure rates.
Not any of that affects my decision to go or not go to the reunion. Matter of fact, the event isn’t even being held in Stockton, they’ve moved it north to a winery in Lodi. Makes sense.
So, do I go or not go? Mrs S has done a rather magnificent job staying out the whole decision process. “Up to you” and “I’m not going”. She didn’t make me go to her 25th “you don’t know anyone there, why would I make you do something like that?” The message here “and don’t make me go to yours.” Which is kind of shame. It would be nice to show up with my smok’n hot wife under my arm just to prove out to many of the folks in my class that I’m not in fact a “fag”. I’m not sure many of the folks in the class would even remember my name other that that one.
My how things have changed.
For me blooming time came a few years later in college where I got involved in the Greek system, eventually becoming a Frat President. Nothing builds social confidence more than talking to local constables about kegs, under-aged drinking and impromptu wet t-shirt contests on the front lawn and so forth. Or the flat out lie that “there is no way that anyone from this house was standing on the hood of car urinating on a windshield, that’s just crazy talk”, 8 minutes after I’d been cheering on the fellows myself. By the way, the same guys are now enormously successful attorneys and business people, just goes to show.
High School I was a quiet kid, hung out in the choir room most of my free time at school and spend almost all my afternoons and weekends, when I wasn’t working, on in a rowboat fishing on one of Stockton’s famous Fake Lakes. I wasn’t much of a social guy.
But it has been fun to get a glimpse of what some folks have been up to in the days since we were all in school. So, maybe running into these folks now would be sort of fun, funner than it was 30 years ago anyway.
On the other hand-
A trip to Stockton doesn’t come with a price. In certain circles there, yours truly is public enemy #1. Those circles are specifically the ones that share my last name, and their friends, the dreaded Parents.
Mrs S asked the fateful question, “would you drop in on your parents?” Hmmm The short answer is no. The longer answer is; to what end? After a decade or more of no communication I can’t see how anything other than one of more of the parties shuffling off the mortal coil doing anything to resolve this.
Seems I have some things to think about.
They found me for our 10th. I replied, “I am not, nor will I ever be, interested.” High School was a required visit to hell for me and I see no reason to revisit it if I don’t have to. My son’s own trip there will be bad enough for me.
I wasn’t interested in going to my 5th (too soon for a reunion, really), and missed my 10th due to being on vacation. I doubt I will go to my 15th next year without a very compelling reason.
If anything, social media has made these things even less important to me than they otherwise would be. I’ve connected with nearly everyone that I still want to keep in touch with. Plus, since I grew up in the south metro as it is, it’s not like I ever left the area anyway (part of me always wondered if I should have moved away, even if not permanently, just for the experience, but of course I would have missed out on good things that way too).
I went to my 25th and it was interesting since I’d seen/talked to no one for 20+ years. Small group of ±100 graduates; few close friends. I will probably break down and go to the 50th in a couple years, but it’s only a 100 mile drive. One of my G+ circles is high school “friends.” We’ll see what comes of that.
College reunions have been much better.
I say, “Don’t do it!”. The school system structure I came through gave me 5 years of HS! I went straight from elementary to HS. Yep, 5 years of being with people who were NOT of like-mind. I was never asked out once by any guy in my HS in those 5 years.
My life began the day I stepped on to Athens soil at the University o f Georgia. Funny, I still looked the same but was around completely different types of people. NOTE: Most of my HS graduating class did not seek higher education. The way I look at it is to go to a class reunion would be hypocritical. I didn’t hang with those folks then, why 29 years later would I want to now.
Yes, social media has reconnected me with many and they all still seem to be the closed minded, idiot red-neck conservatives I detested in the early ’80′s. Funny how those jock guys from yesteryear have paid me some flattering compliments and all I can think is…you’re hitting on me now when you’re married with grown kids. Really? NO class then…NO class now.
Save yourself a trip. My 25th reunion was just like my senior year — the same people were still popular and in charge. I wasn’t one of them in high school, and 25 years later I still wasn’t. Needless to say, I passed on my 50th this year, where the same people were STILL running the show!
I attended my 10th high school reunion and found it a waste of time. I didn’t even bother to inflict it on the hubs. My 20th college reunion was much, much better. I was a late bloomer, too, and college was where I found myself. So I suggest you skip the high school reunion and just focus on any significant college reunions. And, as for the folks…you’re a wise man to not engage in a pointless gesture.