The Wii Knows

Even the Wii has no respect.

Last Sunday I found myself doing something I swore I’d never do. I was in line, at Best Buy, at 8:45 in the morning, waiting to get in to buy a Wii Fit. We had heard a hot tip that our local store was going to be in possession of a few fits on Sunday, to support their Sunday Ad. One of the things we did on our trip to St. Louie was play FIT at a cousins place. Not only fun, but it got the fat guy off the couch a bit as well.

So we did.

And I did.

And Best Buy was happy to report that they had received a massive shipment of 11 units.

Luckily there were exactly 11 people in line. We all got a little card and off we went. Wii FIT in hand.

In order to start playing the Wii you have to set up your profile. As a part of the profile process you have to weigh in on the “balance board”, tell the machine your height and age and the thing will calculate your “Wii Fit Age”. I’ve been telling my middle kid that he’s got to start spending some time outside and getting some exercise. He’s basically stopped playing sports and is now turning into a bit of a slug.

Vindication came when he signed up to play.

He stepped on, did the questions and the exercises and the machine came back with a Wii FIT age of …

35.

Dude, you’re 35 years old at 14.. not good.

The girl, who’s a toothpick to being with, stepped up, her Wii Age is 10. Perfect. Nate, the Jock.. Wii fit age is 13, 4 years younger than he actually is. Eat something dude.

I have to say, this is pretty fun. Mrs S took the challenge, her Wii Fit age is 32. Not bad for 45 year old lady. The dog’s age is 4, which you multiply by 7 to get to your dawg years. The tarantula came it a 3, the neighbors filed through.. all good.

And then the eerie silence. I realized that everyone was staring at me.

“Dude” exclaimed the wife, “your turn”.

I was pretty sure I had somewhere else to be, I just couldn’t remember what it was I had to do….

Having exhausted literally every person I could think of, it was, finally, my turn. Reluctantly I climbed up and went through the questions..

The machine thought, and thought, and finally issued it’s verdict.

SIT DOWN

Huh?

SIT DOWN and call 911..

Stupid machine.